"The committee on water begs to report that it has had the water analyzed by a competent chemist and found the said water perfectly pure." Here a gentleman with a ruddy face jumped up and asked: "Is the committee referring to the bathing water?" "I refer to the drinking water," said the committee. "Ah," ejaculated the red-faced man, a total lack of interest in his tone. Little Stakes jumped up. "I want to know why the electric lights go out every night at ten o'clock," he shouted, excitedly. "I want to know why we pay--" "Look here--you're out of order!" cried the chairman. "So are the lights!" yelled Stakes; but he sat down. "I call for the report of the committee on lights," continued the chairman, in deference to the protest. There was an intense silence. "The committee on lights will please report," said the chairman, looking closely at Geo. B. Still. The little fat man slowly arose. "Am I the committee on lights?" he enquired. "You are, sir." "Are you sure?" "Perfectly sure, Mr. Still. I remember Mr. Bennett nominated you and there were several seconds." "Oh. The minutes being lost, I supposed the seconds were lost, too." "You were mistaken, Mr. Still." "Well, the committee on lights, Mr. Chairman and ladies and gentlemen, finds that we are such good livers we haven't the gall to make a report." And Mr. Still subsided slowly into his seat. "Just like a lady's gown," said a wag, jocosely: "en traile." "I'd like to know," roared a man on the back row of benches, "if the street lights burn till twelve o'clock." "Can't say," replied Geo. B. "I don't sit up to watch 'em." "I move the report of the committee on lights and livers be accepted," said the wag. The chairman gravely put the motion and it carried. "How about the treasurer's report?" asked some one. "Did the secretary mislay that, too?" The secretary glared at the speaker. Then he laid aside his newspaper, took an old envelope from his pocket, and read a memorandum evidently penciled upon the back of it. "Total receipts," said he, "one dollar and eighty-nine cents. Total expenditures, two cents. Total cash balance on hand, one dollar and eighty-seven cents. Respectfully submitted." "What shall we do with the report?" asked the chairman. "I want to know where that two cents went to," cried Mr. Calker, the energetic gentleman on the back bench. "I demand an itemized report!" The secretary and treasurer swore under his breath--or almost under his breath, while the audience laughed. "The two cents in question," he shouted, angrily, "was expended for one postage stamp issued by the United States of America, on which there was no rebate; and the stamp was thereafter attached to a letter to Mr. Calker asking him to pay up his back dues to this Association--which letter was absolutely disregarded." "Then that expenditure was a misappropriation of public funds," said Mr. Calker, in a satisfied tone. "Move the treasurer's apology be accepted," said a voice.