His anger kept rising. He stood there deliberately longer; in fact on and
on, almost in the same position. She should wait his pleasure till he
liked to turn round, and—then. He allowed her laughter to accumulate on
his back, like a coat of mud. In his illogical vision he felt her there
behind him laughing and laughing interminably. Had he gone straight up
to her, in a moment of passion, both disembodied as it were, anything in
the shape of objective observation disappearing, he could have avoided
this scrutiny. He had preferred to plank himself there in front of her,
inevitably ridiculous, a mark for that laugh of hers. Soltyk was sharing
it. More and more _his_ laughter became intolerable. The traditional
solution again suggested itself. Laugh! Laugh! He would stand there
letting the debt grow, letting them gorge themselves on his back. The
attendant behind the bar began observing him with severe curiosity. He
had stood in almost the same position for five minutes and kept staring
darkly past her, very red in the face. Then suddenly a laugh burst out
behind him—a blow, full of insult, in his ears—and he nearly jumped off
the ground. After his long immobility the jump was of the last drollery.
His fists clenched, his face emptied of every drop of colour, in the
mere action he had almost knocked a man, standing beside him, over. The
laugh, for him, had risen with tropic suddenness, a simoom of intolerable
offence. It had carried him off his legs, or whirled him round rather,
in a second. A young English girl, already terrified at Kreisler’s
appearance, and a man, almost as much so, stood open-mouthed in front of
him. As to Anastasya and Soltyk, they had very completely disappeared,
long before, in all probability.
To find that he had been struggling and perspiring in the grasp of a
shadow was a fresh offence, merely, for the count of the absentees.
Obviously, shadow or not, there or not there, it was they. He felt this a
little; but they had disappeared into the _Ewigkeit_ for the moment. He
had been again beating the air. This should have been a climax, of blows,
words, definite things. But things remained vague. The turmoil of the
evening remained his, the solid part of it, unshared by anybody else. He
smiled, rather hideously and menacingly, at the two English people near
him, and walked away. He was not going in search of Anastasya. They would
be met somewhere or other, no doubt. All he wanted now was to get away
from the English club as soon as possible.
While he was making towards the vestibule he was confronted again with
Fräulein Lipmann. “Herr Kreisler, I wish to speak to you,” he heard her
say.
“Go to the devil!” he answered without hesitation or softness.
“Besotted fool! if you don’t go at once, I’ll get⸺”
Turning on her like lightning, with exasperation perfectly meeting hers,
his right hand threatening, quickly raised towards his left shoulder, he
shouted:
“Lass mich doch—gemeine alte Sau!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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