“Yes, figuratively. But in reality the country would be armed better than
it ever had been before. And by the sacrifice of these famous ‘national
characteristics’ we cling to sentimentally, and which are merely the
accident of a time, we should lay a soil and foundation of unspecific
force, on which new and realler ‘national flavours’ would very soon
sprout.”
“I quite agree,” Butcher jerked out energetically.
He ordered another lager.
“I agree with what you say. If we don’t give up dreaming, we shall get
spanked. I have given up my gypsies. That was very public-spirited of
me?” He looked coaxingly.
“If every one would give up their gypsies, their jokes, and their
gentlemen—‘Gentlemen’ are worse than gypsies. It would do perhaps if
they reduced them considerably, as you have your Gitanos.—I’m going to
swear off humour for a year. I am going to gaze on even you inhumanly.
All my mock matrimonial difficulties come from humour. I am going to
gaze on Bertha inhumanly, and not humorously. Humour paralyses the sense
for reality and wraps people in a phlegmatic and hysterical dream-world,
full of the delicious swirls of the switchback, the drunkenness of the
merry-go-round—screaming leaps from idea to idea. My little weapon
for bringing my man to earth—shot-gun or what not—gave me good sport,
too, and was of the best workmanship. I carried it slung jauntily for
some time at my side—you may have noticed it. But I am in the tedious
position of the man who hits the bull’s-eye every time. Had I not been
disproportionately occupied with her absurdities, I should not have
allowed this charming girl to engage herself to me.
“My first practical step now will be to take this question of ‘engaging’
myself or not into my own hands. I shall _disengage_ myself on the spot.”
“So long as you don’t engage yourself again next minute, and so on. If I
felt that the time was not quite ripe, I’d leave it in Fräulein Lunken’s
hands a little longer. I expect she does it better than you would.”
Butcher filled his pipe, then he began laughing. He laughed theatrically
until Tarr stopped him.
“What are you laughing at?”
“You are a nut! Ha! ha! ha!”
“How am I a _nut_? You must be thinking about your old machine out there.”
Butcher composed himself—theatrically.
“I was laughing at you. You repent of your thoughtlessness, and all that.
Your next step is to put it right. I was laughing at the way you go about
it. You now proceed kindly but firmly to break off your engagement and
discard the girl. That is very neat.”
“Do you think so? Well, perhaps it is a trifle over-tidy. I hadn’t looked
at it in that way.”
“You can’t be too tidy,” Butcher said dogmatically. He talked to Tarr,
when a little worked up, as Tarr talked to him. He didn’t notice that he
did. It was partly _câlinerie_ and flattery.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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