breakfasted on the remains of a bird, or a wedge of cold spiced meat,
or even on a bunch of grapes and a crust of bread rubbed with garlic:
his only decent meal in the day. He threw some bits to Flambeau and
Diane whose jaws were chattering. The mist had the smell of Autumn.
It was the hour when Bernard was no longer in pain, when he felt his
all-powerful youth once more within him. The pigeons would soon be
coming over: it was time to see about the decoy-birds, and take their
eyes out. At eleven o’clock he found Thérèse still in bed.
“Well: and the Azévédo boy? You know my mother is waiting for news at
Biarritz, at the Poste Restante.”
“And your heart?”
“Don’t talk about my heart. You’ve only got to start talking about it
and I begin to feel it again. That shows it’s nervous: don’t you think
so?”
She never gave him the answer he wanted.
“You never know: you alone can say what you feel like. There’s no
reason because your father died of angina pectoris ... especially at
your age.... Evidently the heart is the weak point of the Desqueyroux
family. How absurd you are, Bernard, with your fear of death! Don’t you
ever feel as I do, profoundly convinced of your own uselessness? No?
Don’t you think that the life of people like us is already terribly
like death?”
He shrugged his shoulders: her paradoxes were really too tiresome. It
is easy enough to be witty, he said: you have only to say exactly the
opposite to what is sensible. But she was wrong to waste her efforts on
him: she had better save herself for her interview with young Azévédo.
“You know he is going to leave Vilméja about the middle of October?”
* * * * *
At Villandraut, the station before Saint Clair, Thérèse thought: “How
shall I persuade Bernard that I was never in love with that young
man? He will certainly believe I adored him. Like every one who knows
nothing about love, he imagines that a crime like mine could only be a
crime of passion.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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