Christian women saints -- Fiction; Christianity, Conversion to -- Fiction; Courtesans -- Fiction; Egypt -- Fiction; Hermits -- Fiction
“Friend, I am truly a sceptic, and of a sect which appears praiseworthy
to me, though it seems ridiculous to you. For the same things often
assume different appearances. The pyramids of Memphis seem at sunrise to
be cones of pink light. At sunset they look like black triangles against
the illuminated sky. But who shall solve the problem of their true
nature? You reproach me with denying appearances, when, in fact,
appearances are the only realities I recognise. The sun seems to me
illuminous, but its nature is unknown to me. I feel that fire burns--but
I know not how or why. My friend, you understand me badly. Besides, it
is indifferent to me whether I am understood one way or the other.”
“Once more. Why do you live on dates and onions in the desert? Why do
you endure great hardships? I endure hardships equally great, and, like
you, I live in abstinence and solitude. But then it is to please God,
and to earn eternal happiness. And that is a reasonable object, for
it is wise to suffer now for a future gain. It is senseless, on the
contrary, to expose yourself voluntarily to useless fatigue and vain
sufferings. If I did not believe--pardon my blasphemy, O uncreated
Light!--if I did not believe in the truth of that which God has taught
us by the voice of the prophets, by the example of His Son, by the acts
of the Apostles, by the authority of councils, and by the testimony
of the martyrs,--if I did not know that the sufferings of the body are
necessary for the salvation of the soul--if I were, like thee, lost in
ignorance of sacred mysteries--I would return at once amongst the men of
this day, I would strive to acquire riches, that I might live in ease,
like those who are happy in this world, and I would say to the votaries
of pleasure, ‘Come, my daughters, come, my servants, come and pour out
for me your wines, your philtres, your perfumes.’ But you, foolish old
man! you deprive yourself of all these advantages; you lose without
hope of any gain; you give without hope of any return, and you imitate
foolishly the noble deeds of us anchorites, as an impudent monkey
thinks, by smearing a wall, to copy the picture of a clever artist.
What, then, are your reasons, O most besotted of men?”
Paphnutius spoke with violence and indignation, but the old man remained
unmoved.
“Friend,” he replied, gently, “what matter the reasons of a dog sleeping
in the dirt or a mischievous ape?”
Paphnutius’ only aim was the glory of God. His anger vanished, and he
apologised with noble humility.
“Pardon me, old man, my brother,” he said, “if zeal for the truth has
carried me beyond proper bounds. God is my witness, that it is thy
errors and not thyself that I hate. I suffer to see thee in darkness,
for I love thee in Jesus Christ, and care for thy salvation fills my
heart. Speak! give me your reasons. I long to know them that I may
refute them.”
The old man replied quietly--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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