"I didn’t know at first, but I found out later that they were called ’soup coolers,’ and were used for blowing the soup!" said the traveled one. *A BRIGHT PUPIL* A pupil in one of the rural schools of Lehigh County, Pennsylvania, was told by his teacher to form a sentence with the word "cuckoo" in it. The youngster at once replied, "Chust because she made those cuckoo eyes." *A VIEW IN SCOTLAND* Two smart young men from London once came upon a respectable-looking shepherd in Argyleshire, and accosted him with: "You have a very fine view here--you can see a great way." "Yu ay, yu ay, a ferry great way." "Ah! you can see America here, I suppose?" "Farrar than that." "How is that?" "Yu jist wait tule the mists gang awa’ and you’ll see the mune." *A SLIGHT MISUNDERSTANDING* Colonel Maltby tells of a neighbor of his at St. David’s who went home at a rather unusual hour of the day. "Can you tell me of my wife’s whereabouts?" he asked of the family servant. Bridget hesitated for a moment and then replied, "Faith, to tell ye the truth, I really belave they’re in the wash." *THE SKYSCRAPER* At a recent dinner there were present a Frenchman and his wife who had recently come to America. They were having some difficulty with our language. In the course of the conversation, the Frenchman remarked to his neighbor at table, "I haf moosh interest in your high beeldings in zis countree. Vot you call zem--sky creepers?" "Oh, no," broke in his wife, "zat iss not right. It iss sky scratchers." *POOR JUDGMENT* "But, papa," protested Gladys, "I am not a bit too young to marry. You know perfectly well that you married mamma when she was eighteen, and I am a whole year older than that." "I know, but I never thought much of your mother’s judgment in that respect." *HE WOULD TAKE IT WITH HIM* Horace T. Eastman, the inventor of the locomotive pilot, is said to be responsible for this story. "I was sitting in a drug store waiting to get a prescription filled, when a young Irishman entered. He pointed to a stack of green castile soap and said: "’Oi want a loomp o’ thot.’ "’Very well, sir,’ said the clerk, ’will you have it scented or unscented?’ "’Oi’ll take ut with me,’ said the Irishman." *CORRECT* "Who can tell me who our first President was?" asked the teacher. "George Washington," instantly answered a bright boy. "George Washington was our first President," replied the teacher, "and this is what you should have said. Never reply to such questions in monosyllables. Now, who can tell me what I have on my feet?" "Shoes," spoke up one boy. "You have not answered correctly. Who can answer that question in a correct manner?" "Stockings," suggested another boy. "No, no, no! That is not the way."