One cool day last June, just after the public bathhouses had been opened, a boy of ten or twelve came into school with his hair very wet. The teacher at. once surmised that he had been indulging in a bath, and asked him about it. He admitted the fact. "Weren’t you afraid you’d take cold?" she asked. "No, ma’am, the water is filtered." *HOW SHE DEPARTED* At an employment bureau, an Irish girl was asked regarding her past record. She gave satisfactory replies to all the questions, but had no reason for leaving the place she had last held. Finally she was asked point blank: "Now tell me, did you have any words with your mistress that led to your giving up the position?" "Niver a wor-rd, sor," she was quick to respond, "niver a wor-rd, shure; Oi jist quietly locked the dure in the bathroom whin she was insoide, tuk all me things, sor, and lift the place." *CONCEALING HIS CONTEMPT* That doughty Pennsylvanian, Thaddeus Stevens, once displayed so much annoyance and disgust with the decision in a case on which he was engaged that he reached for his hat and started out of the court-room in the most informal way. Near the door he was stopped by the voice of the judge: "Mr. Stevens, are you trying to express your contempt for the court?" "No, your honor," Stevens replied, "I am trying to conceal it." *THE PHYSICIAN’S FEE* A very eminent physician had cured a little girl of a dangerous illness. "Doctor," said the mother, "I really don’t know how to express my gratitude, but thought perhaps you would be so kind as to accept this purse embroidered by my own hands." "Madam," replied the doctor coldly, "small presents serve to sustain friendships; but they don’t sustain our families. A physician’s visits should be rewarded in money." "But, doctor," said the lady alarmed and wounded, "speak, tell me the fee." "Two hundred dollars, madam." The lady opened the embroidered purse, took out five bank notes of one hundred dollars each, gave two to the doctor, put the remaining three back in the purse, bowed coldly and departed. *TWO TO ONE* Seated in a crowded traction car some time since was a very-stout woman who weighed about three hundred pounds, and beside her, squeezing into a space about three inches broad, was a messenger boy--one of those very small abused-looking boys. The stout woman, after looking about the car for a while, noticed two young ladies standing near her and, turning to the small boy beside her, said: "Little boy, why don’t you get up and let one of those young ladies sit down?" "Why don’t you get up and let ’em both sit down?" replied the boy much to the amusement of the rest of the passengers. *A GOOD REASON* A professor tells this story at his own expense: