He was instructing a class of boys about the circulation of the blood and to make sure that they understood him he said, "Can you tell me why it is that if I stood on my head the blood would rush to my head, and when I stand on my feet, there is no rush of blood to the feet?" Then a small boy after pausing for a short time answered, "It is because your feet are not empty, sir." *IN MOURNING* His wife had been dead but a few weeks when a young farmer living near Reading, Pennsylvania, a typical Berks County German, made good the deficiency and married again. That there should be no violation of the proprieties, however, was soon made plain by his treatment of the bride’s proposal that he drive her to town on the following Sunday. "What!" he exclaimed, "you sink I ride out wit anoter woman so soon after the deat’ of my wife?" *SELF-SACRIFICE* The friends of a certain merchant had been interested for several months in a house which he had been building in the suburbs. It was a modern dwelling the exterior of which was attractive, but few had yet seen the interior. One morning friend met the merchant on a trolley car. "So your house is built at last?" said the friend. "Yes." "But I thought the plans didn’t suit you?" "Oh, they don’t," came the reply; "but they suit my wife, the architect, and the cook." *PRE-NUPTIAL CONFIDENCES* She was an exacting young woman and before she would promise to marry him, he had to answer a great many questions relating to his past life. He thought he had given her a very fair account of himself, but, just when the wedding ceremony was about to take place, he remembered an omission and, fearing that she might have cause for future reproach, he whispered in her ear: "Mary, there is one thing I have not told you yet. I am a Universalist. Does it matter, love?" "No, I guess not, dear," said the bride serenely, "I am a somnambulist." *WONDERED HOW THEY MET* Not very far from one of our large cities lives a happy little family of three, father, mother and a little lad of about five years. "Father, where were you born?" asked the youthful heir. "In Chester," replied his father. "And where was mother born?" "Your mother was born in London." "But father, where was I born?" "My child, you were born in Philadelphia. Why do you ask?" "Oh, nothing, only I think it’s very funny how we three people ever met one another." *AFTER DEATH IN AFRICA* Two old-time darkies were engaged in a discussion of death and its mysteries when Uncle Mose said: "Reuben, does you b’lieve dat whin a pusson dies he kin turn into a dorg er a chicken?" "Well, I dunno," answered Reuben, "ef you had yo’ way whin you dies, would you turn to a chicken?" "Dat depend altogedder." "Altogedder on what?" "On whedder er not you lived in de nearabouts."