Needless to say, the father recognized from her graphic description that Mildred had seen a dachshund. *A LINCOLN STORY* In 1862 an intimate friend of President Lincoln visited him in Washington, finding him rather depressed in spirits as the result of the reverses then repeatedly suffered by the Federal troops. "This being President isn’t all it is supposed to be, is it, Mr. Lincoln?" said his visitor. "No," Lincoln replied, his eye twinkling for a moment. "I feel sometimes like the Irishman who, after being ridden on a rail, said: ’If it wasn’t for the honor av th’ thing, I’d rather walk.’" *MIGHT HAVE TAKEN IT* An old negro was taken ill and called in a physician of his own race to prescribe for him; but the old man did not seem to improve, and eventually a white physician was summoned. Soon after his arrival, Dr. ---- felt the old man’s pulse for a moment and then examined his tongue. "Did your other doctor take your temperature?" he asked. "I don’t know, boss," the sick man answered feebly, "I hain’t missed anything but my watch as yit." *A NEW LEAF IN THE BOOK* A New York man recently gained a Missouri girl for his bride by the elopement method. The girl was somewhat romantic, and when the ceremony had been performed and the telegram sent apprising her parents of what had taken place, she looked soulfully up into the eyes of her husband and said, "Dear, we have added a leaf to our book of life to-day, haven’t we?" "Yes," replied the happy groom, "I guess it must be the fly-leaf." *A POWERFUL REMEDY* One day, while running a fox, Major ---- was violently thrown and rendered insensible. Until a doctor could be procured, his old colored servant was asked to care for him. When the doctor arrived, he found the major quietly smoking on his veranda, and was curious to know what medicine had effected such miraculous results. Uncle John, being questioned, explained his mode of treatment as follows: "Massa bus’ his insides an’ I give him allum an’ rozum." "What for?" asked the astonished physician. "De allum to draw de parts togidder an’ de rozum to sodder dem." *DAMAGES ENOUGH* An old colored woman was seriously injured in a railway accident. One and all her friends urged the necessity of suing the wealthy railroad corporation for damages. "I ’clar’ to gracious," she scornfully replied to their advice, "ef dis ole nigga ain’t done git more’n nuff o’ damages! What I’se wantin’ now and what I’se done gwine to sue dat company foh is repairs." *COALS TO NEWCASTLE* A benevolent old gentleman one day saw a rural-looking man sitting on a stone wall swinging his legs and gazing earnestly at the telegraph wires. Going over to the yokel he said: "Waiting to see a message go ’long, eh?" The man grinned and said, "Ay."