"You don’t know much about engines, do you?" he said with infantile frankness. "Engines may have been that way in your time, but they’ve changed a whole lot since then." *LION AT LARGE* At a certain school, in the "jograffy" class, the teacher had been at great pains to define and impress upon the children the meaning of the word "equator," defined as "an imaginary line which surrounds the world." When by repetition they were thought to have it letter perfect, she complimented them and told them to repeat it at home, and surprise their parents with the extent of their knowledge. "Uncle, have you ever seen a quator?" said one little tot. "No, my dear, I don’t even know what it is." "Why, it’s a menagerie lion that runs round the world." *CHARACTERISTIC PORTRAITURE* A young man in a New England town started in the livery business, and one of the first things he did was to have a sign painted representing himself holding a mule by the bridle. He was particularly proud of this stroke of business enterprise, and asked of his wife: "Is that not a good likeness of me?" "Yes," she replied, "it is a perfect picture of you; but who is the fellow holding the bridle?" *INNOCENCE ABROAD* An old Southern darky was sent for the first time to the post-office to mail four letters, and was told to buy stamps for them. "Boss," he said, looking in through the stamp window, "how much do it tek ter sen’ fo’ letters for Massa Johnson?" "Eight cents," replied the clerk, from within the window. "Dat so?" interjected the negro. "Yes, uncle." The old darky took out a leather bag and worried from it eight coppers. Laying these on the counter, he said: "Well, yo’ c’n let ’em go ’long." "But where are the letters?" asked the clerk. "Whar is day? Why, I done drapt ’em in de hole ’roun’ yonder." *DOUBTS* There was a darky in southern Tennessee named Eph. Friday, who died a short time ago. Eph. was neither a member of a church nor of a lodge and thus had no one to deliver an address or prayer at his burial. At last an old uncle consented to say a few remarks for the departed soul. As the coffin was being lowered into the grave the old uncle said to the assembled mourners: "Eph. Friday, we trusts you hab gone to de place whar we spects you ain’t." *FOLLOWING INSTRUCTIONS* An army officer, in his expense list on Government service, put down: "Porter, ten cents." The officer was requested to report to the War Office, where he was told: "While executing public duty refreshments are not chargeable to the nation." "The item does not represent refreshments," replied the officer, "but a fee to a carrier." "You should have said ’porterage,’" was then explained to him. When the officer had occasion to take a hansom, remembering instructions, he wrote in his accounts: "Cabbage, fifty cents."