Mr. W----, who used to be president of the Seaboard Air Line, is a good friend of Mr. S----, president of the Southern Railway. The friends of the two are fond of springing upon them this story: In sending out complimentary passes to officials of the Seaboard system it happened through error that the Southern sent to Mr. W---- a pass marked "Not good on the Washington and South-western Limited." When he received it Mr. W---- looked up the Seaboard pass that was to be sent to Mr. S----. With a pen he wrote across it: "Not good on passenger trains." *COMING DOWN LIKE A LADY* A young lady was entertaining callers one evening when her little sister came down the stairway in a noisy manner. "Frances," said the annoyed elder sister, "you came down-stairs so that you could be heard all over the house. Now, go back and come down properly." Frances retired, and in a few minutes reentered the parlor. "Did you hear me come down-stairs this time, Marjie?" asked the little girl anxiously. "No, dear; this time you came down like a lady." "Yes’m," explained Frances, exhibiting some pride and satisfaction in her performance, "this time I slid down the banisters." *NOT A POPULAR CANDIDATE* A dispute arose on a train one election day as to who would be elected Governor of Pennsylvania. One man stoutly maintained that Pattison would be elected, while another said Pennypacker would receive an immense majority. An Irishman on the train offered twenty-five dollars on the first-named candidate. "You’re both mistaken," said a religious-looking man after the discussion had gone on for some time. "Bedad! who will be Governor, thin?" asked the Celt. "The Lord," said the old man solemnly. "He will be Governor of Pennsylvania." There was silence for a moment, and then the Celt shouted out: "Begorry, an’ I bet you twenty-five dollars that He don’t carry Pittsburg." *JOHNNY’S CONSCIENCE* A teacher in one of our city schools defined conscience as "something within you that tells you when you have done wrong." "Oh, yes," said a little lad at the end of the room, "I had it once last summer after I’d eaten green apples, but they had to send for a doctor." *NOT TO BE DISSUADED* A number of salesmen were discussing the subject of traveling through the South. "I have often wondered," said one of them, "how those boys, who take your hats in the dining-rooms of southern hotels and place them in a rack without checks know which hat to give you. If thought I would try and fool one. One day when I had finished lunch, and the boy had handed me my hat, I tried it on and pretended it was a misfit. "’This is not my hat,’ I said, but he was ready with his answer. "’Dat may not be youah hat, sah,’ he replied calmly, ’but it am de hat what you gib me when you come in.’" *AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE*