Three colored men were discussing the intelligence of different animals. One favored the dog; another, the horse; but old Peter Jackson said, "In my opinion de goat am de ’telligentest critter livin’. De goat kin read, I saw him do it. Once I wuz walkin’ down street dressed in mah best suit, an’ wearin’ mah new plug hat. When I got down on de main street, I seed a billboa’d on which it said: ’Chew Jackson’s Plug.’ A goat wuz standin’ thar when I passed an’ when I wuz about ten feet away he must hab recognized me, for de next thing I knew, I went sailin’ in de mud. When I looked ’roun’ dat goat wuz chewin’ mah plug hat for all he wuz worth. Gem’men, da is no question in mah mind about de ’telligence ob de goat. He am a wondah." *WHERE THEY GET IT* George Ade, not long ago, was speaking of the curious ideas some children have of the most ordinary things. Ade then said the story he was about to tell actually occurred in Indiana, his native State. There was a little boy, who, on seeing a pan of warm, freshly-drawn milk, inquired where the cows got their milk. "Where do you get your tears?" was the reply. "Gee!" exclaimed the youngster, "do you have to spank the cows?" *NEAR ENOUGH* It was a Maine girl of whom the story is told that she refused to marry a most devoted lover until he had amassed a fortune of ten thousand dollars. After some expostulation he accepted the verdict and went to work. About three months after this bargain had been made the young lady, meeting her lover, said: "Well, Charley, how are you getting along?" "Oh, very well indeed," Charley returned cheerfully. "I’ve eighteen dollars saved." The young lady blushed and looked down at the toes of her walking boots. "I guess," she said, faintly, "I guess, Charley, that’s about near enough." *A CLOSE SHAVE* A little girl asked her mother if there were any men in heaven. "Mamma," she said, "I never saw a picture of an angel with a beard or a mustache. Do men ever go to heaven?" "Oh! yes," replied her mother, "men go to heaven, but it’s always by a close shave." *TOO MUCH LIKE HOME* Three men determined to rob a certain house. So, on the night chosen for the deed, they gathered in front of the building. One of them entered and started up-stairs. He had his boots on and, when near the landing, they squeaked. A female voice was heard in one of the rooms. "You go right down-stairs and take those boots off. I’m tired of having to clean up mud and dirt after you. March right down and take them off." The burglar turned about, went down the steps, and joining his companions, said: "Boys, I couldn’t rob that house, it seems too much like home." *A DISTINGUISHED VISITOR*