Palæonto-theologist was just about to begin the grand chain of evidence
in which he proves conclusively, from careful study of the original
Hebrew manuscripts, and from examination of the soil of Mount Ararat,
whose fossils are abraded to this day where the Ark rested on them,
that the dimensions of the Ark were anything but what they are said to
be, when Walter ordered him to come and field. There was no help for
it; he went and fielded; 'he ran, he fell, he fielded well.'
While he and the Poet were thus occupied, Mab and the Owl rested on a
great horse-chestnut and watched the game, and Mab, under the
impression that the boy, at sight of her, would be filled with wonder
and delight, slipped off her invisible cloak. For some time he was too
much absorbed in 'crumping the Poet's slows,' as he said, to notice
her; but at last, when the Poet and the Palæonto-theologist were
utterly 'collared' (as Walter put it) and exhausted, and the
perspiration stood thick on their intellectual foreheads, the advent of
refreshments gained them a momentary respite. Walter attacked the fruit
and cakes so vigorously that Queen Mab grew impatient, and descended to
a lower branch of the huge tree, where at last the boy, raising his
eyes, beheld her.
'Hi!' he cried, rushing indiscriminately at his companions. 'Get me a
catapult, lower boy, I say! Stones, peashooter, anything. Look alive!
Here goes!'
And he assailed the astonished Mab with a cricket-ball, and next 'it
came to pleats,' as Mrs. Major O'Dowd said; and then he hurled a jampot
and a fruit-knife. Fortunately for the fairy, who at the moment was too
much astonished to move, his aim was rendered inaccurate by his
excitement, and the missiles flew wide. The unhappy fags had started
up, and the Poet, looking round bewildered, with a volley of desperate
expletives unuttered in his soul, caught sight of Mab.
'Celestial being!' he exclaimed rapturously. 'I again behold thee.
Bright inmate! How did it run?'
'Bother your verses!' cried the boy with utter contempt. 'Shy at it,
you duffer! Oh, what a Butterfly! Get her into the teapot. Blockhead!'
This last disdainfully to himself, for he had hurled the ancient and
valuable teapot at Mab, who was flying to a higher branch, and the
teapot had missed.
'Rash boy!' cried the Palæonto-theologist, shaking him angrily, 'you
have broken my grandfather's teapot.'
'Run for the butterfly-net,' returned the boy unabashed. 'By George,
I'll give you the jolliest licking!'
'Hi, there she goes! Seize her!' he shouted distractedly, and the
unlucky Palæonto-theologist rushed after a butterfly-net, while Queen
Mab, in unutterable indignation, rose slowly into the air, followed by
the bewildered Owl, who had not had time to explain the boy's 'new
departure' to himself on scientific principles. It was not till they
were fully half a mile from the ill-starred spot that the Owl opened
his beak to murmur, with an air of long-suffering melancholy but
scientific delight, the word—
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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