The £1,000,000 bank-note, and other new storiesTwain, Mark
General
The £1,000,000 bank-note, and other new stories
Twain, Mark
American essays -- 19th century; American fiction -- 19th century; Humorous stories, American
constantly overhearing the remark flying from lip to lip, ‘There he
goes; that’s him!’ couldn’t take his breakfast without a crowd to look
on; couldn’t appear in an opera-box without concentrating there the fire
of a thousand lorgnettes. Why, I just swam in glory all day long—that is
the amount of it.
You know, I even kept my old suit of rags, and every now and then
appeared in them, so as to have the old pleasure of buying trifles, and
being insulted, and then shooting the scoffer dead with the
million-pound bill. But I couldn’t keep that up. The illustrated papers
made the outfit so familiar that when I went out in it I was at once
recognised and followed by a crowd, and if I attempted a purchase the
man would offer me his whole shop on credit before I could pull my note
on him.
About the tenth day of my fame I went to fulfil my duty to my flag by
paying my respects to the American minister. He received me with the
enthusiasm proper in my case, upbraided me for being so tardy in my
duty, and said that there was only one way to get his forgiveness, and
that was to take the seat at his dinner-party that night made vacant by
the illness of one of his guests. I said I would, and we got to talking.
It turned out that he and my father had been schoolmates in boyhood,
Yale students together later, and always warm friends up to my father’s
death. So then he required me to put in at his house all the odd time I
might have to spare, and I was very willing, of course.
In fact I was more than willing; I was glad. When the crash should come,
he might somehow be able to save me from total destruction; I didn’t
know how, but he might think of a way, maybe. I couldn’t venture to
unbosom myself to him at this late date, a thing which I would have been
quick to do in the beginning of this awful career of mine in London. No,
I couldn’t venture it now; I was in too deep; that is, too deep for me
to be risking revelations to so new a friend, though not clear beyond my
depth, as _I_ looked at it. Because, you see, with all my borrowing, I
was carefully keeping within my means—I mean within my salary. Of course
I couldn’t _know_ what my salary was going to be, but I had a good
enough basis for an estimate in the fact that, if I won the bet, I was
to have _choice_ of any situation in that rich old gentleman’s gift
provided I was competent—and I should certainly prove competent; I
hadn’t any doubt about that. And as to the bet, I wasn’t worrying about
that; I had always been lucky. Now, my estimate of the salary was six
hundred to a thousand a year; say, six hundred for the first year, and
so on up year by year, till I struck the upper figure by proved merit.
At present I was only in debt for my first year’s salary. Everybody had
been trying to lend me money, but I had fought off the most of them on
one pretext or another; so this indebtedness represented only £300
borrowed money, the other £300 represented my keep and my purchases. I
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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