The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the Farm — John Shaqi
The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the FarmCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the Farm
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Farms -- Recreational use -- United States -- Fiction; Humorous stories
“I hate to trouble you,” I went on, “but I have experienced some
difficulty in making your townspeople understand me. I am looking for a
certain kind of farm--a farm of an abandoned character.” At once I saw I
had made a mistake.
“You do not get my meaning,” I said hastily. “I refer to a farm that has
been deserted, closed up, shut down--in short, abandoned. I trust I make
myself plain.”
She was still suffering from shock, however. She gave me a wounded-fawn
glance and averted her burning face.
“The Prewitt property might suit your purposes--whatever they may be,”
she said coldly over her shoulder. “Mr. Jabez Pickerel, of Pickerel &
Pike, real-estate dealers, on the first corner above, will doubtless
give you the desired information. He has charge of the Prewitt
property.”
At last, I said to myself as I turned away, I was on the right track.
Mr. Pickerel rose as I entered his place of business. He was a short,
square man, with a brisk manner and a roving eye.
“I have been directed to you,” I began. He seized my hand and began
shaking it warmly. “I have been told,” I continued, “that you have
charge of the old Prewitt farm somewhere near here; and as I am in the
market for an aban-” I got no farther than that.
“In one minute,” he shouted explosively--“in just one minute!”
Still clutching me by the hand, he rushed me pell-mell out of the place.
At the curbing stood a long, low, rakish racing-model roadster, looking
something like a high-powered projectile and something like an enlarged
tailor's goose. Leaping into this machine at one bound, he dragged me
up into the seat beside him and threw on the power. Instantly we were
streaking away at a perfectly appalling rate of speed--fully forty-five
to fifty-five miles an hour I should say. You never saw anything so
sudden in your life. It was exactly like a kidnaping. It was only by the
exercise of great self-control that I restrained myself from screaming
for help. I had the feeling that I was being abducted--for what purpose
I knew not.
As we spun round a corner on two wheels, spraying up a long furrow of
dust, the same as shown in pictures of the chariot race in Ben-Hur,
a man with a watch in his hand and wearing a badge--a constable, I
think--ran out of a house that had a magistrate's sign over it and threw
up his hand authoritatively, as though to stop us; but my companion
yelled something the purport of which I could not distinguish and
the constable fell back. Glancing rearward over my shoulder I saw him
halting another car bearing a New York license that did not appear to be
going half so fast as we were.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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