The Adventures of My Cousin SmoothTempleton, Timothy
General
The Adventures of My Cousin Smooth
Templeton, Timothy
Pierce, Franklin, 1804-1869 -- Humor; United States -- Politics and government -- 1853-1857
"'Well, in obedience to my friendship for you, Smooth--and with the
knowledge that you are going into business with Uncle
Sam--appreciating the 'Young American' party as I do, I don't care if
I take. It may revive the hope of 1856. After all, there is something
in you New Englanders I like--give us yer hand,' he replied suddenly,
as a soft smile spread over his hard face. He commenced wiping his
lips, and was so polite. I rang the bell, and up came the negro, his
face as full of alarm as a frightened moon in a hail-storm. Alarmed at
his appearance, the General sprang to his feet, and was for bolting
through the window. 'Don't be scared, General!' says I, trying to
suppress a laugh; 'put on the pluck of Young America--niggers then
will seem as nothing.' Mr. Pierce pursues this course. General knows
it takes somebody to cut a figure in the world; and seeing that these
United States constitute a free country, what violation of principle
is there in doing with negroes what you please? The steaming punch now
awaited us; I filled the General's glass, and he said 'this was a
great country, which would soon send Young America out on the world to
proclaim manifest destiny.' I said amen, and the punch disappeared
into his depot, as he concluded. It was clear his inards warmed, he
beginning to brighten up soon after. With a laconic air, he touched me
on the elbow, and said, 'Somehow, it seems to touch the right place--I
declare it does! I am half inclined to the belief that General Pierce
sups formidably of this just before he talks about winding things up
in a straight sort of way, all of which he ultimately forgets: the
influence of this sort of steam was undoubtedly that which selected
Minister Solan Borland the man for Central America. It was not that
friend Solan went to settle perplexing questions with that dwarf
combination of helpless governments; it was enough that he amused
sundry citizens and much annoyed others with the little fracases
which, through the power of political steam, he was wont to indulge
in.'
"'Now, Uncle Cass!' said I, interrupting him, at the same time adding
a good-natured wink, 'you must excuse Smooth's seeming intrusiveness;
but, what do you think of annexation in general, and filibustering and
taking Cuba in particular?' At this, the General gave a knowing pause,
scratched his head as if it was troubled with something, and then
replied with much dryness: 'Ah! the one is a subject popular to-day,
the other is fast becoming so: when both are equally popular, we may
advocate them with safety. Mr. Pierce understands this policy. That
which is popular and holds out advantages must go down in our go-ahead
country. According to the axiom of our Southern doctrines we must have
Cuba: she must be wedded in political bonds to Cape Florida; not for
the purpose of consolidating niggerdom, but merely to complete in that
direction the point of manifest destiny.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account