There was, however, something about the picture of Wilma in the hands of
the torturers that did not seem real to me, and my mind still resisted.
I remember gazing with staring eyes at that picture, the sweat pouring
down my face, searching eagerly for some visible evidence of fraud and
being unable to find it. It was the identical likeness of Wilma. Perhaps
had my love for her been less great, I would have succumbed. But all the
while I knew subconsciously that this was not Wilma. Product of the
utmost of nobility in this modern virile, rugged American race, she
would have died under even worse torture than these vicious Han
scientists knew how to inflict, before she would have pleaded with me
this way to betray my race and her honor.
But these were things that not even the most skilled of the Han
hypnotists and psychoanalysts could drag from me. Their intelligence
division also failed to pick up the fact that I was myself the product
of the Twentieth Century and not the Twenty-fifth. Had they done so, it
might have made a difference. I have no doubt that some of their most
subtle mental assaults missed fire because of my own Twentieth Century
"denseness." Their hypnotists inflicted many horrifying nightmares on
me, and made me do and say many things that I would not have done in my
right senses. But even in the Twentieth Century we had learned that
hypnotism cannot make a person violate his fundamental concepts of
morality against his will, and steadfastly I steeled my will against
them.
* * * * *
I have since thought that I was greatly aided by my newness to this age.
I have never, as a matter of fact, become entirely attuned to it. And
even today I confess to a longing wish that man might travel backward as
well as forward in time. Now that my Wilma has been at rest these many
years, I wish that I might go back to the year 1927, and take up my old
life where I left it off, in the abandoned mine near Scranton.
And at the period of which I speak, I was less attuned than now to the
modern world. Real as my life was, and my love for my wife, there was
much about it all that was like a dream, and in the midst of my tortures
by the Hans, this complex--this habit of many months--helped me to tell
myself that this, too, was all a dream, that I must not succumb, for I
would wake up in a moment.
And so they failed.
More than that, I think I won something nearer to genuine respect from
those around me than any other Hans of that generation accorded to
anybody.
Among these was San-Lan himself, the ruler. In the end it was he who
ordered the cessation of these tortures, and quite frankly admitted to
me his conviction that they had been futile and that I was in many
senses a super-man. Instead of having me executed, he continued to
shower luxuries and attentions on me, and frequently commanded my
attendance upon him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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