Americans -- France -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Paris (France) -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Young men -- Fiction
recalled his watch, his wait, and the recognition that had proceeded
from the young stranger, that had played frankly into the air and had
presently brought him up—things smoothing the way for his first
straight step. He had since had occasion, a few times, to pass the
house without going in; but he had never passed it without again
feeling how it had then spoken to him. He stopped short to-night on
coming to sight of it: it was as if his last day were oddly copying his
first. The windows of Chad’s apartment were open to the balcony—a pair
of them lighted; and a figure that had come out and taken up little
Bilham’s attitude, a figure whose cigarette-spark he could see leaned
on the rail and looked down at him. It denoted however no reappearance
of his younger friend; it quickly defined itself in the tempered
darkness as Chad’s more solid shape; so that Chad’s was the attention
that after he had stepped forward into the street and signalled, he
easily engaged; Chad’s was the voice that, sounding into the night with
promptness and seemingly with joy, greeted him and called him up.
That the young man had been visible there just in this position
expressed somehow for Strether that, as Maria Gostrey had reported, he
had been absent and silent; and our friend drew breath on each
landing—the lift, at that hour, having ceased to work—before the
implications of the fact. He had been for a week intensely away, away
to a distance and alone; but he was more back than ever, and the
attitude in which Strether had surprised him was something more than a
return—it was clearly a conscious surrender. He had arrived but an hour
before, from London, from Lucerne, from Homburg, from no matter
where—though the visitor’s fancy, on the staircase, liked to fill it
out; and after a bath, a talk with Baptiste and a supper of light cold
clever French things, which one could see the remains of there in the
circle of the lamp, pretty and ultra-Parisian, he had come into the air
again for a smoke, was occupied at the moment of Strether’s approach in
what might have been called taking up his life afresh. His life, his
life!—Strether paused anew, on the last flight, at this final rather
breathless sense of what Chad’s life was doing with Chad’s mother’s
emissary. It was dragging him, at strange hours, up the staircases of
the rich; it was keeping him out of bed at the end of long hot days; it
was transforming beyond recognition the simple, subtle, conveniently
uniform thing that had anciently passed with him for a life of his own.
Why should it concern him that Chad was to be fortified in the pleasant
practice of smoking on balconies, of supping on salads, of feeling his
special conditions agreeably reaffirm themselves, of finding
reassurance in comparisons and contrasts? There was no answer to such a
question but that he was still practically committed—he had perhaps
never yet so much known it. It made him feel old, and he would buy his
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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