Humorous stories; Mistaken identity -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“And rake in the lame, the halt and the blind, and turn the house into
a hospital again? It’s what he would do. I’ve seen aplenty of that and
more. No, Washington, I want his strikes to be mighty moderate ones the
rest of the way down the vale.”
“Well, then, big strike or little strike, or no strike at all, here’s
hoping he’ll never lack for friends—and I don’t reckon he ever will
while there’s people around who know enough to—”
“Him lack for friends!” and she tilted her head up with a frank
pride—“why, Washington, you can’t name a man that’s anybody that isn’t
fond of him. I’ll tell you privately, that I’ve had Satan’s own time to
keep them from appointing him to some office or other. They knew he’d
no business with an office, just as well as I did, but he’s the hardest
man to refuse anything to a body ever saw. Mulberry Sellers with an
office! laws goodness, you know what that would be like. Why, they’d
come from the ends of the earth to see a circus like that. I’d just as
lieves be married to Niagara Falls, and done with it.” After a
reflective pause she added—having wandered back, in the interval, to
the remark that had been her text: “Friends?—oh, indeed, no man ever
had more; and _such_ friends: Grant, Sherman, Sheridan, Johnston,
Longstreet, Lee—many’s the time they’ve sat in that chair you’re
sitting in—” Hawkins was out of it instantly, and contemplating it with
a reverential surprise, and with the awed sense of having trodden shod
upon holy ground—
“_They!_” he said.
“Oh, indeed, yes, a many and a many a time.”
He continued to gaze at the chair fascinated, magnetized; and for once
in his life that continental stretch of dry prairie which stood for his
imagination was afire, and across it was marching a slanting flamefront
that joined its wide horizons together and smothered the skies with
smoke. He was experiencing what one or another drowsing, geographically
ignorant alien experiences every day in the year when he turns a dull
and indifferent eye out of the car window and it falls upon a certain
station-sign which reads “Stratford-on-Avon!” Mrs. Sellers went
gossiping comfortably along:
“Oh, they like to hear him talk, especially if their load is getting
rather heavy on one shoulder and they want to shift it. He’s all air,
you know,—breeze, you may say—and he freshens them up; it’s a trip to
the country, they say. Many a time he’s made General Grant laugh—and
that’s a tidy job, I can tell you, and as for Sheridan, his eye lights
up and he listens to Mulberry Sellers the same as if he was artillery.
You see, the charm about Mulberry is, he is so catholic and
unprejudiced that he fits in anywhere and everywhere. It makes him
powerful good company, and as popular as scandal. You go to the White
House when the President’s holding a general reception—sometime when
Mulberry’s there. Why, dear me, _you_ can’t tell which of them it is
that’s holding that reception.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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