Humorous stories; Mistaken identity -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“Now _what_ an idea. There’s nothing in a title except what is _put_
into it—you’ve said that yourself. Suppose the title is _clean_,
instead of lady. You get that?”
“I believe so. Instead of speaking of a woman as a _lady_, you
substitute clean and say she’s a clean person.”
“That’s it. In England the swell folks don’t speak of the working
people as gentlemen and ladies?”
“Oh, no.”
“And the working people don’t call _themselves_ gentlemen and ladies?”
“Certainly not.”
“So if you used the other word there wouldn’t be any change. The swell
people wouldn’t call anybody but themselves ‘clean,’ and those others
would drop sort of meekly into their way of talking and _they_ wouldn’t
call themselves clean. We don’t do that way here. Everybody calls
himself a lady or gentleman, and thinks he _is_, and don’t care what
anybody else thinks him, so long as he don’t say it out loud. You think
there’s no difference. You _knuckle down_ and we _don’t_. Ain’t that a
difference?”
“It is a difference I hadn’t thought of; I admit that. Still—_calling_
one’s self a lady doesn’t—er—”
“I wouldn’t go on if I were you.”
Howard Tracy turned his head to see who it might be that had introduced
this remark. It was a short man about forty years old, with sandy hair,
no beard, and a pleasant face badly freckled but alive and intelligent,
and he wore slop-shop clothing which was neat but showed wear. He had
come from the front room beyond the hall, where he had left his hat,
and he had a chipped and cracked white wash-bowl in his hand. The girl
came and took the bowl.
“I’ll get it for you. You go right ahead and _give_ it to him, Mr.
Barrow. He’s the new boarder—Mr. Tracy—and I’d just got to where it was
getting too deep for me.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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