The Army Mule, and Other War SketchesCastle, Henry A. (Henry Anson)
History
The Army Mule, and Other War Sketches
Castle, Henry A. (Henry Anson)
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865; United States. Army -- Military life
Now, shall such of our children's children as through poverty or other
crime may be debarred admission to war cycloramas be condemned to
surfeit their hunger for knowledge as to the conflict's equestrian
features with job lots of descriptive pinxit like this? Is the war
charger to be cut off thus with no extra allowance for training or
pedigree? Are nice distinctions of gait, between the singlefoot trot
and the rack, which are manifestly matters of original brain power and
painful culture, modified of course by heredity, to be studiously
ignored? In short, is the horse to be thus dismissed into obliquity,
so to speak? If so, what conclusions will posterity deduce as to the
anatomical development of the speechless inferior Mule? If an animal
of fair social position and tenacious of his rank is to be thus
lightly disposed of, what can we claim for one of no rank whatever,
with only the snap of his teeth and the whisk of his tail to attract
attention? The case is critical.
When the kicker in politics dies he stays dead a long time; when an
opportunity passes it may never recur. Opportunities for writing
correct history are slipping by month after month, year after year.
The aged, surviving Mule gets nervous as in the teething period of his
suffering colthood, while our expert historians move off toward the
horizon, clothed in linen ulsters and vain regrets. We have essays
galore on the immorality of trotting and the iniquity of pools. We
have treatises enough on overhead check reins and the cruelty of the
cable slot. But this is a condition, not a theory, which now
reproaches us. Soon it will be too late. If the agitation started here
shall finally result in loosening some corset strings of prejudice and
fixing the neglected, necessary Mule in his true orbit, all will be
well. The opportunities of a grateful country for upholstering his
stomach with the finest and greenest her pastures proffer, will soon
be gone forever. If we can now succeed in calculating his right
ascension and declination, and stamping him on the chart indelibly, we
may pass from recreation to refreshment in full assurance of a duty
well performed.
Then let us agitate! The winner of the sinful and expensive Derby must
not forever flaunt his exclusive title to consideration. The piebald
circus favorite shall no longer monopolize the fondness of our rising
youth. The praiseworthy Mule, hot and foamy perhaps, stung with
gad-flies, thirsty, dusty and cross, but patriotic and persevering
amid all, shall have his long delayed due.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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