The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three ActsPailleron, Edouard
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The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three Acts
Pailleron, Edouard
Comedy plays; French drama -- Translations into English
SUZANNE. And the way those women applauded! And the crowd! And
what wonderful gowns! It was like a wedding at Ste. Clotilde! It
was—(_Throwing a kiss_) superb!
DUCHESS. (_Looking at_ ROGER) Hm!
SUZANNE. Superb! You ought to have heard those women! “Charming,
charming!” Madame de Loudan was squeaking like a Guinea-pig. Ugh, ugh!
I detest that woman!
DUCHESS. (_Looking at_ ROGER) Hm! (_To_ SUZANNE) Are those the notes
you took at the lectures?
SUZANNE. Oh, I take others besides. (_To_ ROGER) You’ll see!
DUCHESS. (_To_ ROGER, _picking up the notebook from the table, where_
SUZANNE _had left it on entering_) Well, let’s see—(_The clock strikes
five_) Oh, and my walk! (_Aside to_ ROGER) Now you understand Bellac’s
role in this matter?
ROGER. No, I——
DUCHESS. Examine it, study it,—it’s a manuscript worth your while
deciphering; that’s your profession.
ROGER. I don’t understand anything about this?
DUCHESS. It is your duty, you know, as her tutor.
MME. DE CÉRAN. (_Aside_) That’s a waste of time!
DUCHESS. (_Aside, looking at_ ROGER) That has waked him up!
SUZANNE. (_Aside, looking at all of them_) What are they all up to?
(_The_ DUCHESS _and_ MME. DE CÉRAN _go out_.)
SUZANNE. Why do you stare at me? Because I went out alone? Are you
angry?
ROGER. No, Suzanne, but you ought to know better than to——
SUZANNE. Are you angry with me?
ROGER. No, only——
SUZANNE. Then it’s because you consider me a woman now, is it? Do you?
Tell me, I want so much to know!
ROGER. Yes, you are a woman now, and it is for that very reason that we
must respect the conventions.
SUZANNE. (_Snuggling up to him_) Scold me, I love to hear you, dear!
ROGER. (_Gently pushing her away_) There now, stay over there.
SUZANNE. So you don’t want me to call you “dear,” either?
ROGER. It would be better not to.
SUZANNE. That isn’t easy.
ROGER. And there are other questions of propriety which you must
consider. That is exactly what I was objecting to——
SUZANNE. Oh, yes, I know, I have no manners. M. Bellac is never tired
of telling me so!
ROGER. Ah, Monsieur——?
SUZANNE. But what can you expect? There is no help for it! It’s not my
fault, I tell you, it’s not my fault. It is not so easy as you think;
I made a vow with myself that when you came back you would find me
just as formal as Lucy, that I would wear myself out learning!—Here
I’ve been studying six months—and then all of a sudden you appear and,
whist—there goes six months’ work for nothing!
ROGER. (_Reproachfully_) For nothing?
SUZANNE. Oh, how glad I am you’ve come! Oh, how I love you! I adore you!
ROGER. Suzanne, Suzanne! I beg of you not to use words that you cannot
possibly understand.
SUZANNE. What? That I don’t understand? I tell you I adore you! You,
you funny old thing, don’t you love me, too? Why are you so funny? Do
you love me better than Lucy?
ROGER. Suzanne!
SUZANNE. Are you sure? You’re not going to marry her?
ROGER. Suzanne!
SUZANNE. They told me you were.
ROGER. Nonsense!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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