The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three Acts — John Shaqi
The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three ActsPailleron, Edouard
General
The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three Acts
Pailleron, Edouard
Comedy plays; French drama -- Translations into English
MME. DE CÉRAN. It’s useless for you to wait, my dear, we are here. You
have your _Tumuli_, run along! (_She urges him to the door_)
ROGER. Please, mother! It’s a matter that——
MME. DE CÉRAN. It concerns your position. Go now, run away!
ROGER. (_Resisting_.) I should be very sorry to disobey you, but——
MME. DE CÉRAN. Now, Roger!
ROGER. Please, mother!—I couldn’t write a line this evening, I am too—I
don’t know what—I am very disturbed. My conscience tells me that I have
not acted toward that young girl as I ought. I’m very—Think of it,
Mother—Suzanne!—It would be awful—! I am in a fearful position.
DUCHESS. Surely you exaggerate!
ROGER. (_Flaring up_) Really!
MME. DE CÉRAN. Roger! Roger! What do you mean!
ROGER. I am her tutor; it is my duty to look after her moral
welfare!—Think of my responsibility; that child’s honor is in my hands!
It is a sacred charge placed in my keeping; if I violate my trust
I should be worse than a criminal. And then you talk to me about
_Tumuli! Tumuli! Tumuli!_ The devil take the _Tumuli_!
MME. DE CÉRAN. (_Terrified_) Oh!
DUCHESS. Well, well!
ROGER. And I say, if this is true, if that cad has dared take advantage
of our hospitality and her innocence, I’m going straight to him and
demand a public apology, do you hear?
MME. DE CÉRAN. My son!
ROGER. Before everyone!
MME. DE CÉRAN. This is madness!—Duchess, forgive him, he’s——
DUCHESS. Oho! I like to see him like that, you know!
MME. DE CÉRAN. Roger!
ROGER. No, mother, this is my affair. I’ll wait here. (_He sits down_)
MME. DE CÉRAN. Very well, then, I’ll wait, too.
ROGER. You?
MME. DE CÉRAN. Yes, and I’ll talk to him.
DUCHESS. But be careful!
MME. DE CÉRAN. Oh, I’ll be careful enough; but if she persists, I shall
give her my opinion on the subject! I’ll wait. (_She sits down_)
DUCHESS. Not long! Five minutes to ten! If she is going to have her
headache, it is due about now. (_The door at the back swings open
slowly_) Shhh——
ROGER. There she is!
(_As the door opens, the voice of the poet is heard declaiming._)
POET. (_Outside_) “Then let me cleanse the earth of this vile brood!
Death’s portal shall not check my vengeance, nor
Shall I retreat before the yawning grave——”
(JEANNE _appears; closes the door_.)
DUCHESS. The Sub-prefect’s wife!
JEANNE. (_Astonished at seeing them_) Oh!
DUCHESS. Come in, don’t be afraid. It would seem that you have had
enough?
JEANNE. Oh, no, Duchess, but you see, I——
DUCHESS. You don’t care for tragedy?
JEANNE. Oh, yes, I do!
DUCHESS. Oh, you needn’t say so to be polite; there are seventeen
others who feel as you do! (_Aside_) What can she be up to?—It wasn’t
interesting, was it?
JEANNE. Quite the contrary!
DUCHESS. “Quite the contrary,” as you say to the person who asks you
whether it hurt when he stepped on your foot?
JEANNE. Oh, not at all! There were some very interesting things—there
was one beautiful line.
DUCHESS. A whole line?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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