The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three ActsPailleron, Edouard
General
The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three Acts
Pailleron, Edouard
Comedy plays; French drama -- Translations into English
[3] Modern France is divided into ninety-seven “Departments” which
roughly correspond to the states in the United States.
PAUL. Well, General, its spirit—why, it—the—its spirit—it hasn’t any!!
(_They go out at the back. As_ SUZANNE _passes the piano she runs her
hand across the keys, making a terrible noise_)
MME. DE CÉRAN. (_Severely to_ SUZANNE) But, Su-zanne! What——!
SUZANNE. (_As if astonished_) What is it, cousin?
DUCHESS. (_Stopping her and looking into her face_) What is the matter
with you?
SUZANNE. (_With a nervous smile_) Me? Oh, I am just amusing myself!
DUCHESS. What is the matter?
SUZANNE. Nothing, Aunt, I tell you I am just amusing myself!
DUCHESS. What is the matter with you?
SUZANNE. (_Stifling a sob_) Oh, I feel so badly! (_She goes into the
large dining-room and slams the door violently after her_)
DUCHESS. She’s in love, or I’m no judge—and I _am_ a judge!
MME. DE CÉRAN. (_To the_ DUCHESS) But what is the matter? (_To_ ROGER)
Why aren’t you at work on your report? What has happened? Please?!
ROGER. You were right all the while!
MME. DE CÉRAN. Suzanne——?
ROGER. Suzanne—and that man!!
DUCHESS. Stop! You’re going to say something foolish!
ROGER. But I——
DUCHESS. (_To_ MADAME DE CÉRAN) We discovered a letter in her
possession.
MME. DE CÉRAN. From Bellac?
DUCHESS. I haven’t the slightest idea.
ROGER. What?
DUCHESS. Disguised handwriting—unsigned—not the slightest idea!
ROGER. Oh, you must have! He’s not running any risks.—I say——
DUCHESS. (_To_ ROGER) Keep still! (_To_ MADAME DE CÉRAN) Listen to
this: “I shall arrive Thursday——”
ROGER. To-day!—Therefore either he or I wrote that letter!
DUCHESS. Will you be still? “This evening at ten, in the Conservatory.”
ROGER. “Say you have a headache.”
DUCHESS. Oh, yes, I forgot: “Say you have a headache.”
MME. DE CÉRAN. Why, it is a rendezvous!
DUCHESS. There’s no doubt about it.
MME. DE CÉRAN. With _her_!
DUCHESS. I don’t know about that!
ROGER. But I think——
DUCHESS. You think! You think!—When it comes to accusing a woman,—it’s
not enough to “think,” you must _see_, and when you have seen, and seen
and seen again—then, well then, it’s not true anyway! (_Aside_) It’s
good to say these things to the young!
MME. DE CÉRAN. A rendezvous, what did I tell you?! Well, well, what
more could be expected of her, after all? And in my house! Like a girl
of the streets! Now, Duchess, what are you going to do, tell me that?
I asked them to begin in there without me, but I can’t wait here all
evening! I hear the poet; they’ve begun. Please, what are you going to
do?
DUCHESS. Do? Stay here.—Quarter to ten; if she keeps the appointment
she must come through here, and then I’ll see him.
ROGER. But if she goes, Aunt?
DUCHESS. If she goes, my dear nephew? Well! I shall go too! And without
saying a word, I’ll see where they go. And when I see how matters
stand, then and then only, will it be time to act.
ROGER. (_Sitting down_) I’ll wait.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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