The Astonishing History of Troy TownQuiller-Couch, Arthur
General
The Astonishing History of Troy Town
Quiller-Couch, Arthur
Cornwall (England : County) -- Fiction
"You are upset, dearest; be cool, I implore you."
"Be cool! Be coo'--Don't hector me, ma'am, but fetch that
warming-pan at once. I'll teach you about being cool! Sophy, pull
off my boots."
They obeyed. The warming-pan was brought--an enormous engine, big
enough to hold the Admiral himself--and the bed heated. The Admiral
undressed, and, himself a warming-pan of rage, plunged between the
sheets. It was a wonder the bed-clothes were not on fire.
"Pull down the blind, and bring me something to eat!"
"Yes, love."
"And be quick about it. Can't you see I'm starving?"
It is true that the Admiral's excitement had interfered with his
breakfast that morning, but it was none the less difficult to read
starvation upon his face. Mrs. Buzza obeyed, however; and presently
returned with the liver-wing of a fowl.
"You call that a dinner for a hungry man, I suppose! Bring me some
more!"
"My dear, I didn't know you wanted a dinner."
"Confound it, ma'am! must I put dress-studs in my night-shirt to
convince you I want to dine? Bring me some more!"
"There is no more fowl, dear. I kept this from yesterday's as a
tit-bit for you."
"What is for dinner to-day?"
"Boiled beef: but you said expressly that dinner was to be late
to-day, in consequence of the arrivals, and it is not nearly done
yet."
"I don't care, bring it!"
The mention of the arrivals sent the Admiral up to a white heat
again.
"But, my--"
"Bring it!"
It was brought. The Admiral had two helpings, and then a glass of
grog.
"Go."
Mrs. Buzza withdrew. Left to himself, the Admiral tossed, and
turned, and fumed, and swore, lay still for a while, and then
repeated the process backwards. After a time the bed-clothes began
to prick him, and the heat to become a positive torture. He leapt
out, and tore at the bell-rope, until it came away in his hand--just
as his wife reappeared.
"Will you kindly inform me what the devil's wrong with this bed?
Who made it?"
"Selina, dear."
"Then will you kindly give Selina a month's notice on the spot?
Do you hear? On the spot--What's that?"
The Admiral rushed to the window and pulled up the blind. He was
just in time to see a close carriage and pair dash past and pull up
at "The Bower."
A moment afterwards, Miss Limpenny, from the first-storey window of
No. 1, saw the carriage door open, and a tall gentleman emerge.
The tall gentleman was followed by a lady, whom even at that distance
Miss Limpenny could see to possess a remarkably graceful figure.
A small youth in livery sprang down from beside the coachman and
helped to lower the boxes, whilst the new arrivals passed into the
house where the charwoman, Mrs. Snell, stood smearing her face with
her apron, and ducking in frenzied welcome.
The Honourable Frederic Augustus Hythe Goodwyn-Sandys and his wife,
instead of arriving by train, had posted from Five-Lanes Junction.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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