I remained there with Mrs. Ambient, though even our exchange of twaddle
had run very thin. The boy’s little fixed white face seemed, as before,
to plead with me to stay, and after a while it produced still another
effect, a very curious one, which I shall find it difficult to express.
Of course I expose myself to the charge of an attempt to justify by a
strained logic after the fact a step which may have been on my part but
the fruit of a native want of discretion; and indeed the traceable
consequences of that perversity were too lamentable to leave me any
desire to trifle with the question. All I can say is that I acted in
perfect good faith and that Dolcino’s friendly little gaze gradually
kindled the spark of my inspiration. What helped it to glow were the
other influences—the silent suggestive garden-nook, the perfect
opportunity (if it was not an opportunity for that it was an opportunity
for nothing) and the plea I speak of, which issued from the child’s eyes
and seemed to make him say: “The mother who bore me and who presses me
here to her bosom—sympathetic little organism that I am—has really the
kind of sensibility she has been represented to you as lacking, if you
only look for it patiently and respectfully. How is it conceivable she
shouldn’t have it? How is it possible that _I_ should have so much of
it—for I’m quite full of it, dear strange gentleman—if it weren’t also in
some degree in her? I’m my great father’s child, but I’m also my
beautiful mother’s, and I’m sorry for the difference between them!” So
it shaped itself before me, the vision of reconciling Mrs. Ambient with
her husband, of putting an end to their ugly difference. The project was
absurd of course, for had I not had his word for it—spoken with all the
bitterness of experience—that the gulf dividing them was well-nigh
bottomless? Nevertheless, a quarter of an hour after Mark had left us, I
observed to my hostess that I couldn’t get over what she had told me the
night before about her thinking her husband’s compositions
“objectionable.” I had been so very sorry to hear it, had thought of it
constantly and wondered whether it mightn’t be possible to make her
change her mind. She gave me a great cold stare, meant apparently as an
admonition to me to mind my business. I wish I had taken this mute
counsel, but I didn’t take it. I went on to remark that it seemed an
immense pity so much that was interesting should be lost on her.
“Nothing’s lost upon me,” she said in a tone that didn’t make the
contradiction less. “I know they’re very interesting.”
“Don’t you like papa’s books?” Dolcino asked, addressing his mother but
still looking at me. Then he added to me: “Won’t you read them to me,
American gentleman?”
“I’d rather tell you some stories of my own,” I said. “I know some that
are awfully good.”
“When will you tell them? To-morrow?”
“To-morrow with pleasure, if that suits you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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