The Autobiography of Mark Rutherford, Edited by his friend Reuben ShapcottWhite, William Hale
General
The Autobiography of Mark Rutherford, Edited by his friend Reuben Shapcott
White, William Hale
Religious fiction
There is, of course, a definite explanation to be given of one effect
produced by the _Lyrical Ballads_. God is nowhere formally deposed, and
Wordsworth would have been the last man to say that he had lost his faith
in the God of his fathers. But his real God is not the God of the
Church, but the God of the hills, the abstraction Nature, and to this my
reverence was transferred. Instead of an object of worship which was
altogether artificial, remote, never coming into genuine contact with me,
I had now one which I thought to be real, one in which literally I could
live and move and have my being, an actual fact present before my eyes.
God was brought from that heaven of the books, and dwelt on the downs in
the far-away distances, and in every cloud-shadow which wandered across
the valley. Wordsworth unconsciously did for me what every religious
reformer has done—he re-created my Supreme Divinity; substituting a new
and living spirit for the old deity, once alive, but gradually hardened
into an idol.
What days were those of the next few years before increasing age had
presented preciser problems and demanded preciser answers; before all joy
was darkened by the shadow of on-coming death, and when life seemed
infinite! Those were the days when through the whole long summer’s
morning I wanted no companion but myself, provided only I was in the
country, and when books were read with tears in the eyes. Those were the
days when mere life, apart from anything which it brings, was exquisite.
In my own college I found no sympathy, but we were in the habit of
meeting occasionally the students from other colleges, and amongst them I
met with one or two, especially one who had undergone experiences similar
to my own. The friendships formed with these young men have lasted till
now, and have been the most permanent of all the relationships of my
existence. I wish not to judge others, but the persons who to me have
proved themselves most attractive, have been those who have passed
through such a process as that through which I myself passed; those who
have had in some form or other an enthusiastic stage in their history,
when the story of Genesis and of the Gospels has been rewritten, when God
has visibly walked in the garden, and the Son of God has drawn men away
from their daily occupations into the divinest of dreams.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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