And, once more, listen to the historian. “The Puritans hated puns. The
Bishops were notoriously addicted to them. The Lords Temporal carried
them to the verge of license. Majesty itself must have its Royal
quibble. ‘Ye be burly, my Lord of Burleigh,’ said Queen Elizabeth, ‘but
ye shall make less stir in our realm than my Lord of Leicester.’ The
gravest wisdom and the highest breeding lent their sanction to the
practice. Lord Bacon playfully declared himself a descendant of ’Og, the
King of Bashan. Sir Philip Sidney, with his last breath, reproached the
soldier who brought him water, for wasting a casque full upon a dying
man. A courtier, who saw Othello performed at the Globe Theatre,
remarked, that the blackamoor was a brute, and not a man. ‘Thou hast
reason,’ replied a great Lord, ‘according to Plato his saying; for this
be a two-legged animal _with_ feathers.’ The fatal habit became
universal. The language was corrupted. The infection spread to the
national conscience. Political double-dealings naturally grew out of
verbal double meanings. The teeth of the new dragon were sown by the
Cadmus who introduced the alphabet of equivocation. What was levity in
the time of the Tudors grew to regicide and revolution in the age of the
Stuarts.”
Who was that boarder that just whispered something about the
Macaulay-flowers of literature?—There was a dead silence.—I said calmly,
I shall henceforth consider any interruption by a pun as a hint to change
my boarding-house. Do not plead my example. If _I_ have used any such,
it has been only as a Spartan father would show up a drunken helot. We
have done with them.
—If a logical mind ever found out anything with its logic?—I should say
that its most frequent work was to build a _pons asinorum_ over chasms
which shrewd people can bestride without such a structure. You can hire
logic, in the shape of a lawyer, to prove anything that you want to
prove. You can buy treatises to show that Napoleon never lived, and that
no battle of Bunker-hill was ever fought. The great minds are those with
a wide span, which couple truths related to, but far removed from, each
other. Logicians carry the surveyor’s chain over the track of which
these are the true explorers. I value a man mainly for his primary
relations with truth, as I understand truth,—not for any secondary
artifice in handling his ideas. Some of the sharpest men in argument are
notoriously unsound in judgment. I should not trust the counsel of a
smart debater, any more than that of a good chess-player. Either may of
course advise wisely, but not necessarily because he wrangles or plays
well.
The old gentleman who sits opposite got his hand up, as a pointer lifts
his forefoot, at the expression, “his relations with truth, as I
understand truth,” and when I had done, sniffed audibly, and said I
talked like a transcendentalist. For his part, common sense was good
enough for him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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