Elizabeth's cheeks grew crimson. The compliment struck her like those
flowers which are thrown into one's face at flower fêtes, and which
flatter and hurt one at the same time. She told her children to hurry.
"We shall be late--let us go in."
Philippe Lagier, who was standing on the square and had witnessed this
scene, came up to her, but made no allusion to what he had just
overheard, so as not to offend her. They were nearing the church steps.
She placed her foot on the first step.
"Are you not coming in?"
"Yes. Does that surprise you? I love the Catholic services. They are
incomparably poetical. To-day I shall go in to find the spring."
"Are you not seeking something else there?"
She smiled with that melancholy half-smile which harmonized so
completely with her appealing expression. But she herself, had she
confidence in God? She continued to mount the steps when he stopped her,
not without visible emotion, but with great respect.
"Listen, Madame, I find you so changed...."
She wished to joke.
"Changed? It seems that it must be for the better. I have just heard
so."
"Yes. Italians have the privilege of crying out what we must content
ourselves with thinking. It is not a question of that. The winter has
affected your health somewhat: it is evident--you must consult...."
"No, no, I am very well, I assure you."
She disappeared into the lobby. Abashed for a moment, he decided to
follow her and sit a few rows behind her during Mass, so that she would
not know of his presence. While her children's clothes were very
carefully looked after, she was wearing a modest black dress, which must
have seen hard service and was beginning to look shiny. As she had drawn
her mourning veil over her shoulder in front, he could see her blonde
hair, of such childish fairness, so delicate, so silky, and a corner of
her white neck. When she rose or knelt, in accordance with the rites of
the service, he noticed the flexibility of her movements and that suave
grace, as of a young girl with whom one could not dare to associate
impure ideas. At intervals her profile was invisible, then again he
would catch a glimpse of it, like a bright spot between her dark hat and
dress. How little she resembled the blooming, but apathetic,
unresponsive wife of Albert Derizel Sorrow, loneliness, the care of
disposing of her time, had sharpened her features, and even the lines of
her figure. Her slender body swayed like the long stalk of a flower. In
her slimness, which began to grow alarming, she retained that look of
youth, which she formerly had as a result of lack of all occupation, and
which now suggested a sort of recoil from the disillusioning revelations
of life.
"She will break down," thought Philippe. "She will die of it. What can
be done to save her?"
He was no longer actuated by selfish motives. In his heart, devoid of
faith, but eager, she was his religious ideal, the Madonna with whom the
little Italian had compared her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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