Maurice Houdon, his red cheeks shining, his black mustache stiffly waxed, sat at the head of the table as he had promised to do, performing the honors with a regal grace and playing imaginary themes with every flourish of address to every guest: a different theme for each. On his right was a vacant place, the sole apparent reference to the host of the evening; on his left, Armand Garnier, the poet, very thin and cadaverous, with long dank locks and tangled beard, his skin waxen, his lantern-jaw emitting no words, but working lustily upon the food. Next to Cartaret's place bobbed the pear-shaped Devignes, leading the chorus, as became the only professional singer in the company. Across from him was Philippe Varachon, the sculptor, whose nose always reminded Cartaret of an antique and long lost bit of statuary, badly damaged in exhumation; and at the foot Seraphin was seated, the first to note Cartaret's arrival and the only one to apologize for not having delayed the dinner. He got up immediately, and his whiskers tickled the American's cheek with the whisper: "It was ready to serve, and Madame swore that it would perish. My faith, what would you?" Pasbeaucoup was darting among the guests, wiping fresh plates with a napkin and his dripping forehead with his bare hand. Cartaret felt certain that the little man would soon confuse the functions of the two. "Ah-h-h!" cried Houdon. He rose from his place and endeavored to restore order by beating with a fork upon an empty tumbler, as an orchestral conductor taps his baton--at the same time nodding fiercely at Pasbeaucoup to refill the tumbler with red wine. He was the sole member of the company not long known to their host, but he said: "Messieurs, I have the happiness to present to you our distinguished American fellow-student, M. Charles Cartar_ette_. Be seated among us, M. Cartarette," he graciously added; "pray be seated." Cartaret sat down in the place kindly reserved for him, and the interruption of his appearance was so politely forgotten that he wished he had not been such a fool as to make it. The song was resumed. It was not until the salad was served and Pasbeaucoup had retired below-stairs to assist in preparing the coffee, that Houdon turned again to Cartaret and executed what was clearly to be the Cartaret theme. "We had despaired of your arrival, Monsieur," said he. Cartaret said he had observed signs of something of the sort. "Truly," nodded Houdon. His tongue rolled a ball of salad into his cheek and out of the track of speech. "Doubtless you had the one living excuse, however." "I don't follow you," said Cartaret. Houdon leered. His fingers performed on the table-cloth something that might have been the _motif_ of Isolde. "I have heard," said he, "your American proverb that there are but two adequate excuses for tardiness at dinner--death and a lady--and I am charmed, monsieur, to observe that you are altogether alive."