Even blundering DOODLE-DUM-DEY Was insensible quite to their leers, And said good little TOOTLE-TUM-TEH, “It’s your blood we desire, pretty dears— We have come for our dinners, my dears!” And the Queen of the Amazons fell To BORRIA BUNGALEE BOO,— In a mouthful he gulped, with a yell, TIPPY-WIPPITY TOL-THE-ROL-LOO— The pretty QUEEN TOL-THE-ROL-LOO. And neat little TITTY-FOL-LEH Was eaten by PISH-POOH-BAH, And light-hearted WAGGETY-WEH By dismal ALACK-A-DEY-AH— Despairing ALACK-A-DEY-AH. And rollicking TRAL-THE-RAL-LAH Was eaten by DOODLE-DUM-DEY, And musical DOH-REH-MI-FAH By good little TOOTLE-DUM-TEH— Exemplary TOOTLE-TUM-TEH! THE PERIWINKLE GIRL I’VE often thought that headstrong youths Of decent education, Determine all-important truths, With strange precipitation. The ever-ready victims they, Of logical illusions, And in a self-assertive way They jump at strange conclusions. Now take my case: Ere sorrow could My ample forehead wrinkle, I had determined that I should Not care to be a winkle. “A winkle,” I would oft advance With readiness provoking, “Can seldom flirt, and never dance, Or soothe his mind by smoking.” In short, I spurned the shelly joy, And spoke with strange decision— Men pointed to me as a boy Who held them in derision. But I was young—too young, by far— Or I had been more wary, I knew not then that winkles are The stock-in-trade of MARY. I had not watched her sunlight blithe As o’er their shells it dances— I’ve seen those winkles almost writhe Beneath her beaming glances. Of slighting all the winkly brood I surely had been chary, If I had known they formed the food And stock-in-trade of MARY. Both high and low and great and small Fell prostrate at her tootsies, They all were noblemen, and all Had balances at COUTTS’S. Dukes with the lovely maiden dealt, DUKE BAILEY and DUKE HUMPHY, Who ate her winkles till they felt Exceedingly uncomfy. DUKE BAILEY greatest wealth computes, And sticks, they say, at no-thing, He wears a pair of golden boots And silver underclothing. DUKE HUMPHY, as I understand, Though mentally acuter, His boots are only silver, and His underclothing pewter. A third adorer had the girl, A man of lowly station— A miserable grov’ling Earl Besought her approbation. This humble cad she did refuse With much contempt and loathing, He wore a pair of leather shoes And cambric underclothing! “Ha! ha!” she cried. “Upon my word! Well, really—come, I never! Oh, go along, it’s too absurd! My goodness! Did you ever?