But owing, I'm much disposed to fear, To his terrible taste for tippling, That highly respectable Gondolier Could never declare with a mind sincere Which of the two was his offspring dear, And which the Royal stripling! Which was which he could never make out, Despite his best endeavour. Of _that_ there is no manner of doubt-- No probable, possible shadow of doubt-- No possible doubt whatever. The children followed his old career-- (This statement can't be parried) Of a highly respectable Gondolier: Well, one of the two (who will soon be here)-- But _which_ of the two is not quite clear-- Is the Royal Prince you married! Search in and out and round about And you'll discover never A tale so free from every doubt-- All probable, possible shadow of doubt-- All possible doubt whatever! [Illustration] JOHN AND FREDDY JOHN courted lovely MARY ANN, So likewise did his brother, FREDDY. FRED was a very soft young man, While JOHN, though quick, was most unsteady FRED was a graceful kind of youth, But JOHN was very much the strongest. "Oh, dance away," said she, "in truth, I'll marry him who dances longest." JOHN tries the maiden's taste to strike With gay, grotesque, outrageous dresses, And dances comically, like CLODOCHE AND CO., at the Princess's. But FREDDY tries another style, He knows some graceful steps and does 'em-- A breathing Poem--Woman's smile-- A man all poesy and buzzem. Now FREDDY'S operatic _pas_-- Now JOHNNY'S hornpipe seems entrapping: Now FREDDY'S graceful _entrechats_-- Now JOHNNY'S skilful "cellar-flapping." For many hours--for many days-- For many weeks performed each brother, For each was active in his ways, And neither would give in to t'other. [Illustration] After a month of this, they say (The maid was getting bored and moody) A wandering curate passed that way And talked a lot of goody-goody. "Oh my," said he, with solemn frown, "I tremble for each dancing _frater_, Like unregenerated clown And harlequin at some the-ayter." He showed that men, in dancing, do Both impiously and absurdly, And proved his proposition true, With Firstly, Secondly, and Thirdly. For months both JOHN and FREDDY danced, The curate's protests little heeding; For months the curate's words enhanced The sinfulness of their proceeding [Illustration] At length they bowed to Nature's rule-- Their steps grew feeble and unsteady, Till FREDDY fainted on a stool, And JOHNNY on the top of FREDDY.