"Decide!" quoth they, "let him be named, Who henceforth as his wife may rank you." "I've changed my views," the maiden said, "I only marry curates, thank you!" Says FREDDY, "Here is goings on! To bust myself with rage I'm ready." "I'll be a curate!" whispers JOHN-- "And I," exclaimed poetic FREDDY. But while they read for it, these chaps, The curate booked the maiden bonny-- And when she's buried him, perhaps, She'll marry FREDERICK or JOHNNY. [Illustration] [Illustration] THE FAIRY QUEEN'S SONG Oh, foolish fay, Think you because Man's brave array My bosom thaws I'd disobey Our fairy laws? Because I fly In realms above, In tendency To fall in love Resemble I The amorous dove? Oh, amorous dove! Type of Ovidius Naso! This heart of mine Is soft as thine, Although I dare not say so! On fire that glows With heat intense I turn the hose Of Common Sense, And out it goes At small expense! We must maintain Our fairy law; That is the main On which to draw-- In that we gain A Captain Shaw. Oh, Captain Shaw! Type of true love kept under! Could thy Brigade With cold cascade Quench my great love, I wonder! [Illustration] SIR GUY THE CRUSADER SIR GUY was a doughty crusader, A muscular knight, Ever ready to fight, A very determined invader, And DICKEY DE LION'S delight. LENORE was a Saracen maiden, Brunette, statuesque, The reverse of grotesque, Her pa was a bagman from Aden, Her mother she played in burlesque. A _coryphée_, pretty and loyal, In amber and red The ballet she led; Her mother performed at the Royal, LENORE at the Saracen's Head. Of face and of figure majestic, She dazzled the cits-- Ecstaticised pits;-- Her troubles were only domestic, But drove her half out of her wits. [Illustration] Her father incessantly lashed her, On water and bread She was grudgingly fed; Whenever her father he thrashed her Her mother sat down on her head. GUY saw her, and loved her, with reason, For beauty so bright Sent him mad with delight; He purchased a stall for the season, And sat in it every night. His views were exceedingly proper, He wanted to wed, So he called at her shed And saw her progenitor whop her-- Her mother sit down on her head. [Illustration] "So pretty," said he, "and so trusting! You brute of a dad, You unprincipled cad, Your conduct is really disgusting, Come, come, now admit it's too bad!