I offered him a county seat, And made no end of an oration; I made it certainty complete, And introduced the deputation. But no--the clown my prospect blights-- (The worth of birth it surely teaches!) "Why should I want to spend my nights In Parliament, a-making speeches? "I haven't never been to school-- I ain't had not no eddication-- And I should surely be a fool To publish that to all the nation!" I offered him a trotting horse-- No hack had ever trotted faster-- I also offered him, of course, A rare and curious "old master." I offered to procure him weeds-- Wines fit for one in his position-- But, though an ass in all his deeds, He'd learnt the meaning of "commission." He called me "thief" the other day, And daily from his door he thrusts me; Much more of this, and soon I may Begin to think that BROWN mistrusts me. So deaf to all sound Reason's rule This poor uneducated clown is, You can_not_ fancy what a fool Poor rich uneducated BROWN is. [Illustration] [Illustration] EHEU FUGACES--! The air is charged with amatory numbers-- Soft madrigals, and dreamy lovers' lays. Peace, peace, old heart! Why waken from its slumbers The aching memory of the old, old days? Time was when Love and I were well acquainted; Time was when we walked ever hand in hand; A saintly youth, with worldly thought untainted, None better loved than I in all the land! Time was, when maidens of the noblest station, Forsaking even military men, Would gaze upon me, rapt in adoration-- Ah me, I was a fair young curate then! Had I a headache? sighed the maids assembled; Had I a cold? welled forth the silent tear; Did I look pale? then half a parish trembled; And when I coughed all thought the end was near! I had no care--no jealous doubts hung o'er me-- For I was loved beyond all other men. Fled gilded dukes and belted earls before me-- Ah me, I was a pale young curate then! [Illustration] [Illustration] SIR MACKLIN Of all the youths I ever saw None were so wicked, vain, or silly, So lost to shame and Sabbath law As worldly TOM, and BOB, and BILLY. For every Sabbath day they walked (Such was their gay and thoughtless natur') In parks or gardens, where they talked From three to six, or even later. SIR MACKLIN was a priest severe In conduct and in conversation, It did a sinner good to hear Him deal in ratiocination. He could in every action show Some sin, and nobody could doubt him. He argued high, he argued low, He also argued round about him. He wept to think each thoughtless youth Contained of wickedness a skinful, And burnt to teach the awful truth, That walking out on Sunday's sinful.