And thus it was that he became gradually prepared for the dissolution of
the earthly house of his _own_ tabernacle. Symptoms of disease were
renewed and accumulated, so as to awaken apprehension as to their issue.
He retired from the avocations of business with graceful submission to
the divine will, and zealously applied himself to means for the recovery
of health. Testimonials of respect from his late employers, and his
companions, frequently followed him into retirement, either at his
father's house, or at some distant part of the country. The last journey
he undertook was to Dover, where his stay was short and distressing. He
returned home much worse, and with slight alternations of disease,
slowly sunk beneath its influence.
Under the paternal roof he enjoyed those soothing attentions his case
required; and often mentioned, with touching emotion, his gratitude to
God for giving him so kind a father, and such affectionate sisters, to
alleviate his last affliction. One of these sisters, herself the subject
of long affliction, was frequently detained with him from public
worship, and on such seasons of sacred tranquillity, would read and
converse with him. When too weak to bear either, he would lament his
want of energy; but regarding it as a part of his affliction, desired to
submit to it with acquiescence as the will of God. He would say, "I
depend on the quiet, though powerful, teaching of the Holy Spirit; who
will, himself, impress the truth on my mind." At other times he would
say, "Read one of those sublime chapters at the conclusion of the
Revelations, to draw my thoughts towards heaven." He was fond of the
Pilgrim's Progress, and said of it, "In my weak state, it is the only
book I can listen to with ease or profit, besides the Bible." When he
spoke of the providence of God, it was always with evident satisfaction:
he would say, "I am quite helpless, unable to do any thing for my own
maintenance, or for the benefit of others; but I am so perfectly
satisfied to cast all my care on the kindness and wisdom of God, that I
do not desire to have a choice if I might. If my health be restored, I
know he can direct my pursuits; and for the present, all is infinitely
better than I could have arranged." On another occasion, he said to one
of his sisters, "I should like to know Mr Beale's opinion (his medical
attendant) of my disorder: if he thinks it will terminate fatally, I
hope he will tell me: I am not alarmed at the thought of death." And
shortly afterwards, added, "What a mercy it is that I have not _now_ to
seek the Saviour, nor go to him now for the _first_ time: this is a
season when I need the comfort and support of religion." On the evening
of the same day, he enjoyed great composure of mind; and when referring
to his departure, he said, "He trusted, as a family, we should all meet
again: the separation would not be for long." He frequently requested to
hear the 23rd Psalm read, saying, "Though I can repeat it, I like to
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