The Baritone's Parish; or, "All Things to All Men"Ludlow, James M. (James Meeker)
General
The Baritone's Parish; or, "All Things to All Men"
Ludlow, James M. (James Meeker)
Alcoholics -- Fiction; Christian life -- Fiction; Clergy -- Fiction; Singers -- Fiction
The flash of a passing cab let a little light in upon his problem.
Hailing the driver, with whose help he got his load into the vehicle,
he told him to drive to No. -- Madison Avenue, where he had his own day
quarters--elegant rooms, fitted up for his instruction of the
fashionable "daughters of music" at six dollars an hour. Sweezy, the
janitor, was roused up, and with his assistance Vox was able to
congratulate himself that he had gone "one better" on the good
Samaritan, in that he had lodged his man in finer chambers. He could
not help laughing at the incongruousness of the snoring mass and the
elegant divan on which it lay. He thought of Bottom the weaver, with
the ass's head, in the lap of Titania, and, as he piled the cushions so
that the fellow would not tumble off, addressed him in the words of the
fairy:
"Come, sit thee down upon this flowery bed,
While I thy amiable cheeks do coy,
And stick musk roses in thy sleek smooth head,
And kiss thy fair large ears, my gentle joy."
But tears are near to laughter, and as Vox contemplated his completed
work he had to sit down a moment and cry.
"It's a hard sight, sir," said Sweezy, "but bless you, Mr. Vox, the
best of us has just sich among our closest friends. I wish, sir, as
how it was my own boy, Tommy, you had found the night." And Sweezy
cried too.
Sweezy promised to take an early look at the man in the morning when he
turned on the steam heat. Vox went away to his boarding-house around
the corner, vexed at the doctor for getting him into such a scrape, yet
feeling down in the depths of his heart a satisfaction that more than
half compensated him for his rough experience. He fell asleep thinking
of the good Samaritan, Bottom with the ass's head, Salvation Army
lasses, and the Prohibition party; and, in the midst of a horrid dream,
woke up imagining himself drunk and about to fall off a precipice.
Before breakfast next morning he went around to the rooms to look after
his charge. The fellow had vamosed. Sweezy was taking account of the
furniture, and, though nothing was missing, and only a lamp-shade
broken, declared that Vox had been victimized by a sharper:
"A regular sharper, sir. I thought so when you brought him in. You
ought to have knowed, sir, at a glance of him, what he was. You've
nussed, sir, a wiper in your bosom, and it's a mercy, sir, a mercy if
he hasn't stung you no worse. Is your pocket-book with you? You ought
at least to have took off his boots. That spot on the cover will never
come out without piecing."
Vox contemplated the scene of his first charity exploit much as
Bonaparte did the battle-field of Waterloo. He had but one remark to
make, which was:
"Sweezy, don't you open your head about this business."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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