The Beaux-Stratagem: A comedy in five actsFarquhar, George
General
The Beaux-Stratagem: A comedy in five acts
Farquhar, George
Comedy plays; English drama (Comedy)
_Mrs. Sul._ Your life! no, sir, they can rob me of nothing that I value
half so much; therefore now, sir, let me entreat you to begone.
_Arch._ No, madam, I'll consult my own safety, for the sake of yours;
I'll work by stratagem: have you courage enough to stand the appearance
of them?
_Mrs. Sul._ Yes, yes; since I have escaped your hands, I can face any
thing.
_Arch._ Come hither, brother Scrub; don't you know me?
_Scrub._ Eh! my dear brother, let me kiss thee! [_Kisses_ ARCHER.
_Arch._ This way----Here---- [ARCHER _and_ SCRUB _hide_.
_Enter_ GIBBET, _with a dark Lanthorn in one Hand, and a
Pistol in the other_.
_Gib._ Ay, ay, this is the chamber, and the lady alone.
_Mrs. Sul._ Who are you, sir? What would you have? D'ye come to rob me?
_Gib._ Rob you! alack a day, madam, I'm only a younger brother, madam;
and so, madam, if you make a noise, I'll shoot you through the head: but
don't be afraid, madam. [_Laying his Lanthorn and Pistol upon the
Table._] These rings, madam; don't be concerned, madam; I have a
profound respect for you, madam; your keys, madam; don't be frighted,
madam; I'm the most of a gentleman. [_Searching her Pockets._] This
necklace, madam; I never was rude to any lady! I have a veneration--for
this necklace.
[_Here_ ARCHER, _having come round, and seized the Pistol,
takes_ GIBBET _by the Collar, trips up his Heels, and claps
the Pistol to his Breast_.
_Arch._ Hold, profane villain, and take the reward of thy sacrilege.
_Gib._ Oh! pray, sir, don't kill me; I an't prepared.
_Arch._ How many is there of them, Scrub?
_Scrub._ Five and forty, sir.
_Arch._ Then I must kill the villain, to have him out of the way.
_Gib._ Hold! hold! sir; we are but three, upon my honour.
_Arch._ Scrub, will you undertake to secure him?
_Scrub._ Not I, sir; kill him, kill him!
_Arch._ Run to Gipsey's chamber; there you'll find the doctor; bring him
hither presently. [_Exit_ SCRUB, _running_.] Come, rogue, if you have a
short prayer, say it.
_Gib._ Sir, I have no prayer at all; the government has provided a
chaplain to say prayers for us on these occasions.
_Mrs. Sul._ Pray, sir, don't kill him: You fright me as much as him.
_Arch._ The dog shall die, madam, for being the occasion of my
disappointment.--Sirrah, this moment is your last.
_Gib._ Sir, I'll give you two hundred pounds to spare my life.
_Arch._ Have you no more, rascal?
_Gib._ Yes, sir, I can command four hundred; but I must reserve two of
them to save my life at the sessions.
_Enter_ SCRUB _and_ FOIGARD.
_Arch._ Here, doctor: I suppose Scrub and you, between you, may manage
him:----Lay hold of him. [FOIGARD _lays hold of_ GIBBET.
_Gib._ What! turned over to the priest already----Lookye, doctor, you
come before your time; I an't condemned yet, I thank ye.
_Foig._ Come, my dear joy, I vil secure your body and your shoul too; I
will make you a good catholic, and give you an absolution.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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