_Foig._ Arra fait, de people do say, you be all robbed, joy. _Aim._ The ladies have been in some danger, sir, as you saw. _Foig._ Upon my shoul, our inn be rob too. _Aim._ Our inn! By whom? _Foig._ Upon my shalvation, our landlord has robbed himself, and run away wid da money. _Arch._ Robbed himself! _Foig._ Ay, fait! and me too, of a hundred pounds. _Arch._ Robbed you of a hundred pounds! _Foig._ Yes, fait, honey, that I did owe to him. _Aim._ Our money's gone, Frank! _Arch._ Rot the money! my wench is gone. _Sir C._ This good company meets opportunely in favour of a design I have in behalf of my unfortunate sister: I intend to part her from her husband. Gentlemen, will you assist me? _Arch._ Assist you!--'Sdeath! who would not? _Foig._ Ay, upon my shoul, we'll all ashist. _Enter_ SULLEN. _Sul._ What's all this?----They tell me, spouse, that you had like to have been robbed. _Mrs. Sul._ Truly, spouse, I was pretty near it--had not these two gentlemen interposed. _Sul._ How came these gentlemen here? _Mrs. Sul._ That's his way of returning thanks, you must know. _Foig._ Ay, but upon my conshience, de question be apropos, for all dat. _Sir C._ You promised, last night, sir, that you would deliver your lady to me this morning. _Sul._ Humph! _Arch._ Humph! what do you mean by humph?--Sir, you shall deliver her----In short, sir, we have saved you and your family, and if you are not civil, we'll unbind the rogues, join with them, and set fire to your house.--What does the man mean? Not part with his wife! _Foig._ Arra, not part wid your wife! Upon my shoul, de man dosh not understand common shivility. _Mrs. Sul._ Hold, gentlemen, all things here must move by consent: compulsion would spoil us. Let my dear and I talk the matter over, and you shall judge it between us. _Sul._ Let me know, first, who are to be our judges.--Pray, sir, who are you? _Sir C._ I am Sir Charles Freeman, come to take away your wife. _Sul._ And you, good sir? _Aim._ Thomas, Viscount Aimwell, come to take away your sister. _Sul._ And you, pray, sir? _Arch._ Francis Archer, Esq. come---- _Sul._ To take away my mother, I hope.--Gentlemen, you are heartily welcome: I never met with three more obliging people since I was born.--And now, my dear, if you please, you shall have the first word. _Arch._ And the last, for five pounds. [_Aside._ _Mrs. Sul._ Spouse. _Sul._ Rib. _Mrs. Sul._ How long have you been married? _Sul._ By the almanack, fourteen months--but, by my account, fourteen years. _Mrs. Sul._ 'Tis thereabout, by my reckoning. _Foig._ Upon my conshience, dere accounts vil agree. _Sir C._ What are the bars to your mutual contentment? _Mrs. Sul._ In the first place, I can't drink ale with him. _Sul._ Nor can I drink tea with her. _Mrs. Sul._ I can't hunt with you. _Sul._ Nor can I dance with you. _Mrs. Sul._ I hate cocking and racing. _Sul._ And I abhor ombre and picquet. _Mrs. Sul._ Your silence is intolerable.