Old Lady Drew Lived in a shoe: Children there too. Their home was too cramped for a dozen or more, But others have suffered from tight shoes before, So the latch-string was always hung out on the door. To upper skies Good old sole flies, With all her ties. The Drews and Jack Horner lived on the same street: Jack gambled with Hymen and Drew Marguerite, And love for his sole-mate affected his feet. There ne'er was a "comeback" to poor Jack and Jill; The King followed after them going "down hill," And Bo, left alone, is a sheepish maid still. THE WEIGHT OF LOVE I was sitting in the parlor With my Sweetheart on my knee, And the fireplace lights and shadows Silhouetted her and me. Heavy grew she towards the morning, When the gold-fringed sunbeams leap: _She_ was wide awake as ever But my leg was fast asleep. Flesh is weak and so I shifted My loved load, as best I could, From the numb knee to the other; From the leg of flesh to wood. Then I felt my Sweetheart shiver, And I realized her state When she drew a white-ash sliver From the leg _articulate_. DO IT! Dare to do it! You'll not rue it If you save some Human Craft From the rocks where fierce gales blew it, Using Kindness for a raft. O, dare to do! Be kind and true To the friends you make thru life; Then High Heaven will reward you With immunity from strife. If a Lion Were a dyin', Would you go into his lair And attempt to soothe his cryin'? Do it! Do it, if you _dare_! AMENITIES The Parson tied the Hymen knot That made two halves a whole; The while a speculating what Would be his marriage toll. The Groom, when he had kissed the Bride, Was taken with the chills: Her icy lips could not abide Osculatory thrills. But soon his fever was effaced; His hand obeyed his will, And in the Parson's palm he placed A soiled One Dollar Bill. "Anathema!" the preacher cried,-- "Thou reptile of the Earth!" The Groom replied--"Then take the Bride! I think it's all she's worth!" "DANSER SUR UN VULCAN" Now goeth forth the Swell elite, With patent leathers on his feet; With collar spotless, cuffs to suit, In truth bon-ton, from hat to boot. A bootblack, with an eye to biz, With dirty hands and ugly phiz, Beholds him as he goes, and throws Banana peels beneath his toes. Along the pave Adonis trips; He steps upon the peel, and slips Into the juicy gutter: His eyes are filled with fire and ire, But water, muck and mire conspire To drown the words he'd utter. L'ENVOI