Go where you will, the stars will _shine_, And so will Tony, I opine: But O! the stars Adonis spied When he went "out," a sewerside. AT THE BULGING UDDER TIME Years have passed since I, an urchin, Drove the Cow, so sleek and prime, Down the path, where crows were perchin' At the Bulging Udder Time. Those were days well worth one's living, When I watched, with joy sublime, What the generous Cow was giving At the Bulging Udder Time. Later on, when we grew older, Father gave us each a dime-- Me and Bill--to milk and _hold_ her, At the Bulging Udder Time: But, alas! we came to grieving: Bill was kicked and smeared with grime, And the Cow boo-booed on leaving-- "Come around some _udder_ time!" VAGARIES The husky Corn has pushed ahead with silken locks atop; O, Brother, ain't it shocking? And Colonels are expecting quite a bumper Bourbon crop-- Saloonward they are flocking! But when they strip the ears and find the wasteful worms surrounding, 'Twill make the "moonshine" dimmer; For ev'ry still has coils of worms illicitly abounding Where sour-mash mixtures simmer. The hillside Stills their fragrance breathe, and wood birds are a sounding; My jug is in the hollow: So fill it up, but watch your step and Secret Service hounding! The scent is sweet to follow. The Cotton Bolls are bursting forth with weevils in the sepals; Come, Dinah, get to picking! And rush the staple to the mart to clothe the naked peoples! Or you will get a licking! The baleful Gins are all prepared to do the fibre-squeezing: Get busy, Massa Willie! And set the weevils back a bit, and save the folks from freezing! It's getting powerful chilly! You Pickaninnies hustle now, and do the proper bagging! The possum's cooking, Honey! And when the work is thru we'll do our banjo stunts, and ragging And get our "Cakewalk" money. A SHATTERED ROMANCE My heart is aflame with a love that enslaves My passion for thee is afire; My soul is athirst for the love that it craves, And you are the one I admire. Pray speak, Dear! and say your affections are mine, And all the sweet charms you possess; Then I will surrender my wishes to thine And be but thy slave, I confess. When she answered, at length, I felt very sure I'd pleaded my cause quite enough; "You're the one man on earth I _couldn't endure_, So cut out that comedy stuff!" THE MILKY WAY I went to school, like any lad, And learned to read and write: With pencil, books and writing-pad I grew quite erudite. Promoted soon, my Teacher thought I would some day, be great; And so painstakingly he taught Me how to conjugate.