It was a chilly November afternoon. I had just consummated an
unusually hearty dinner, of which the dyspeptic _truffe_ formed not
the least important item, and was sitting alone in the dining-room
with my feet upon the fender and at my elbow a small table which
I had rolled up to the fire, and upon which were some apologies
for dessert, with some miscellaneous bottles of wine, spirit, and
_liqueur_. In the morning I had been reading Glover’s _Leonidas_,
Wilkie’s _Epigoniad_, Lamartine’s _Pilgrimage_, Barlow’s
_Columbiad_, Tuckerman’s _Sicily_, and Griswold’s _Curiosities_, I
am willing to confess, therefore, that I now felt a little stupid.
I made effort to arouse myself by frequent aid of Lafitte, and all
failing, I betook myself to a stray newspaper in despair. Having
carefully perused the column of “Houses to let,” and the column
of “Dogs lost,” and then the columns of “Wives and apprentices
runaway,” I attacked with great resolution the editorial matter,
and reading it from beginning to end without understanding a
syllable, conceived the possibility of its being Chinese, and
so re-read it from the end to the beginning, but with no more
satisfactory result. I was about throwing away in disgust
This folio of four pages, happy work
Which not even critics criticise,
when I felt my attention somewhat aroused by the paragraph which
follows:
“The avenues to death are numerous and strange. A London paper
mentions the decease of a person from a singular cause. He was
playing at ‘puff the dart,’ which is played with a long needle
inserted in some worsted, and blown at a target through a tin tube.
He placed the needle at the wrong end of the tube, and drawing
his breath strongly to puff the dart forward with force, drew the
needle into his throat. It entered the lungs, and in a few days
killed him.”
Upon seeing this I fell into a great rage, without exactly knowing
why. “This thing,” I exclaimed, “is a contemptible falsehood—a poor
hoax—the lees of the invention of some pitiable penny-a-liner, of
some wretched concocter of accidents in Cocaigne. These fellows
knowing the extravagant gullibility of the age set their wits
to work in the imagination of improbable possibilities, of odd
accidents as they term them, but to a reflecting intellect (like
mine, I added, in parenthesis, putting my forefinger unconsciously
to the side of my nose), to a contemplative understanding such
as I myself possess, it seems evident at once that the marvelous
increase of late in these ‘odd accidents’ is by far the oddest
accident of all. For my own part, I intend to believe nothing
henceforward that has anything of the ‘singular’ about it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account