The Best American Humorous Short Stories — John Shaqi
The Best American Humorous Short Stories
General
The Best American Humorous Short Stories
Short stories, American
It was almost evening when Mr. Kingsbury, having discovered,
through the intervention of the Doctor and Aunt Sally the cause
of Ellen’s distress, made his appearance before the unhappy
eyes of Master Horner, angry, solemn and determined; taking the
schoolmaster apart, and requiring, an explanation of his treatment
of his daughter. In vain did the perplexed lover ask for time
to clear himself, declare his respect for Miss Ellen and his
willingness to give every explanation which she might require; the
father was not to be put off; and though excessively reluctant,
Mr. Horner had no resource but to show the letters which alone
could account for his strange discourse to Ellen. He unlocked his
desk, slowly and unwillingly, while the old man’s impatience was
such that he could scarcely forbear thrusting in his own hand to
snatch at the papers which were to explain this vexatious mystery.
What could equal the utter confusion of Master Horner and the
contemptuous anger of the father, when no letters were to be
found! Mr. Kingsbury was too passionate to listen to reason, or to
reflect for one moment upon the irreproachable good name of the
schoolmaster. He went away in inexorable wrath; threatening every
practicable visitation of public and private justice upon the head
of the offender, whom he accused of having attempted to trick his
daughter into an entanglement which should result in his favor.
A doleful exhibition was this last one of our thrice approved and
most worthy teacher! Stern necessity and the power of habit enabled
him to go through with most of his part, but where was the proud
fire which had lighted up his eye on similar occasions before? He
sat as one of three judges before whom the unfortunate Robert Emmet
was dragged in his shirt-sleeves, by two fierce-looking officials;
but the chief judge looked far more like a criminal than did the
proper representative. He ought to have personated Othello, but
was obliged to excuse himself from raving for “the handkerchief!
the handkerchief!” on the rather anomalous plea of a bad cold.
_Mary Stuart_ being “i’ the bond,” was anxiously expected by the
impatient crowd, and it was with distress amounting to agony that
the master was obliged to announce, in person, the necessity of
omitting that part of the representation, on account of the illness
of one of the young ladies.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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