He rose from his chair and went to the open window again, the strange
fear slowly passing. The cool air fanned his cheeks. Beauty till now had
scarcely ever brushed the surface of his soul. He had never troubled his
head about it. It passed him by indifferent; and he had ever loathed the
mouthy prating of it on others' lips. He was practical; beauty was for
dreamers, for women, for men who had means and leisure. He had not
exactly scorned it; rather it had never touched his life, to sweeten, to
cheer, to uplift. Artists for him were like monks--another sex
almost--useless beings who never helped the world go round. He was for
action always, work, activity, achievement as he saw them. He remembered
Straughan vaguely--Straughan, the ever impecunious friend of his youth,
always talking of color and sound--mysterious, ineffectual things. He
even forgot what they had quarreled about, if they had quarreled at all
even; or why they had gone apart all these years ago. And certainly he
had forgotten any promise. Memory as yet only peeped at him round the
corner of that huge curtain tentatively, suggestively, yet--he was
obliged to admit it--somewhat winningly. He was conscious of this
gentle, sweet seductiveness that now replaced his fear.
And as he stood now at the open window peering over huge London, beauty
came close and smote him between the eyes. She came blindingly, with her
train of stars and clouds and perfumes. Night, mysterious, myriad-eyed,
and flaming across her sea of haunted shadows invaded his heart and
shook him with her immemorial wonder and delight. He found no words of
course to clothe the new unwonted sensations. He only knew that all his
former dread, uneasiness, distress, and with them this idea of growth
that had seemed so repugnant to him were merged, swept up, and gathered
magnificently home into a wave of beauty that enveloped him. "See it,
and understand," ran a secret inner whisper across his mind. He saw. He
understood....
He went back and turned the lights out. Then he took his place again at
that open window, drinking in the night. He saw a new world; a species
of intoxication held him. He sighed, as his thoughts blundered for
expression among words and sentences that knew him not. But the delight
was there, the wonder, the mystery. He watched with heart alternately
tightening and expanding the transfiguring play of moon and shadow over
the sea of buildings. He saw the dance of the hurrying clouds, the open
patches into outer space, the veiling and unveiling of that ancient
silvery face; and he caught strange whispers of the hierophantic,
sacerdotal power that has echoed down the world since Time began and
dropped strange magic phrases into every poet's heart, since first "God
dawned on Chaos"--the Beauty of the Night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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