The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_Under her breath._] Oh!
SIR RANDLE.
God bless me! Frankly, I had no conception----
LADY FILSON.
Nor I--the faintest.
SIR TIMOTHY.
And as I've received a great deal of kindness and hospitality in this
house, I thought that, in common gratitude, I ought to explain the
cause of my abrupt disappearance from your circle.
SIR RANDLE.
[_In a tone of deep commiseration._] I--I understand. You--you intend
to----?
SIR TIMOTHY.
To take a trip round the world, to endeavour to recover some of the
wind that's been knocked out of me.
SIR RANDLE.
[_Closing his eyes._] Distressing! Distressing!
LADY FILSON.
Most. [_Coming to_ SIR TIMOTHY, _feelingly._] Oh--oh, Sir Timothy----!
SIR TIMOTHY.
[_With sudden bitterness._] Ah, Sir Timothy, Sir Timothy, Sir Timothy!
And what's the use of my baronetcy _now_, will you inform me--the
baronetcy I bought and paid for, in hard cash, to better my footing in
society? The mockery of it! Now that I've lost _her_, the one woman I
shall ever love, I don't care a rap for my footing in society;
[_walking away_] and anybody may have my baronetcy for tuppence!
SIR RANDLE.
[_Reprovingly._] My good friend----!
SIR TIMOTHY.
[_Turning to_ SIR RANDLE _and_ LADY FILSON.] And why not! The only
advantage of my baronetcy, it strikes me, is that I'm charged double
prices at every hotel I lay my head in, and am expected to shower gold
on the waiters. [_Sitting on the settee on the right and leaning his
head on his hand._] Oh, the mockery of it; the mockery of it!
SIR RANDLE.
[_Going to him._] If my profound sympathy--and Lady Filson's--[_to_
LADY FILSON] I may speak for you, Winnie----?
LADY FILSON.
Certainly.
SIR RANDLE.
[_To_ SIR TIMOTHY.] If our profound sympathy is the smallest consolation
to you----
SIR TIMOTHY.
[_Emphatically, raising his head._] It is _not_. [_With a despairing
gesture._] I'm broken-hearted, Sir Randle. That's what I am; I'm
broken-hearted.
LADY FILSON.
[_Sitting in the low-backed arm-chair on the left._] Oh, dear!
SIR TIMOTHY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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