The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_Sighing._] If I'd had the pluck to declare myself sooner, it might
have been different. [_Staring before him._] From the moment I first
set eyes on her, at the dinner-party you gave to welcome her on her
arrival in London--from that moment I was captured completely, body and
soul. The sight of her as she stood in the drawing-room beside her
mother, with her pretty, white face and her elegant figure, and a gown
clinging to her that looked as though she'd been born in it--'twill
never fade from me if I live to be as old as a dozen Methuselahs!
SIR RANDLE.
[_Pryingly._] Er--has Ottoline--I have no desire to probe an open
wound--has she assigned any--reason----?
SIR TIMOTHY.
[_Rousing himself._] For rejecting me?
SIR RANDLE.
[_With a wave of the hand._] For----
LADY FILSON.
For not seeing her way clear----
SIR RANDLE.
To--er--in short--accept you?
SIR TIMOTHY.
She _has_.
LADY FILSON.
_Has_ she!
SIR TIMOTHY.
The best--and, for me, the worst--of reasons. There's another man in
the case.
SIR RANDLE.
Another----?
LADY FILSON.
Another----!
SIR RANDLE.
[_To_ LADY FILSON.] Extraordinary!
LADY FILSON.
Bewildering.
SIR RANDLE.
We have been blind, Winnie.
LADY FILSON.
Absolutely.
SIR TIMOTHY.
And, whoever he may be, I trust he'll worship her as devoutly as I do,
and treat her with half the gentleness _I'd_ have treated her with, had
she selected _me_ for her Number Two.
SIR RANDLE.
[_Piously._] Amen! [_To_ LADY FILSON.] Winifred----?
LADY FILSON.
[_Rather fretfully._] Amen.
SIR TIMOTHY.
[_Rising._] And with that sentiment on my lips, and in every fibre of
my body, I'll relieve you of my depressing company. [_Going to_ LADY
FILSON, _who rises at his approach, and taking her hand._] My dear
lady----
LADY FILSON.
[_Genuinely._] My dear Sir Timothy!
SIR RANDLE.
[_Moving to the glazed door._] Painful! Painful!
[_As_ SIR TIMOTHY _turns from_ LADY FILSON, BERTRAM
_reappears, in morning-dress, entering from the hall._
BERTRAM.
[_Drawing back on seeing_ SIR TIMOTHY.] Oh! [_To_ SIR RANDLE.] Am I
intruding?
SIR RANDLE.
Come in, my boy. You're just in time to give a parting grasp of the
hand to our friend here.
BERTRAM.
[_Advancing to_ SIR TIMOTHY, _surprised._] Parting----?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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