The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_Passing her hands over her face and walking to the settee on the
right._] Ha, ha, ha, ha----!
LADY FILSON.
[_Rising and moving to the fireplace, complainingly._] Really,
Ottoline----!
OTTOLINE.
[_Sitting upon the settee._] Ha, ha, ha----!
LADY FILSON.
[_To_ BERTRAM, _who is slowly getting to his feet._] Go away, Bertie
darling.
OTTOLINE.
_Mais pourquoi?_ Bertie knows everything, obviously.
LADY FILSON.
Why shouldn't he, Otto? Your brother is as interested as we are----
OTTOLINE.
But of course! _Naturellement!_ [_With a shrug._] _C'est une affaire de
famille._ [_To_ BERTRAM, _who is now at the door on the left, his hand
on the door-handle._] Come back, Bertie. [_Repeating her wry smile._] I
shall be glad to receive your congratulations with mother's and Dad's.
[_To_ SIR RANDLE _and_ LADY FILSON.] Sit down, Dad; sit down, mother.
[SIR RANDLE _sits in the chair on the left of the settee on the right,_
LADY FILSON _in the low-backed arm-chair, and_ BERTRAM _at the oblong
table._] Are you very much surprised, dear people?
SIR RANDLE.
Surprised? Hardly.
LADY FILSON.
Poor Sir Timothy! No, we are hardly surprised, Ottoline.
OTTOLINE.
Ah, but I don't mean surprised at my--having made Sir Timothy unhappy;
I mean surprised at hearing there is--someone else----
SIR RANDLE.
My dear child, _that_ surprises us even less.
LADY FILSON.
Your dear father and I, Ottoline, are not unaware of the _many_
eligible men who are--how shall I put it?--pursuing you with their
attentions.
SIR RANDLE.
Parents are notoriously short-sighted; but they are not
necessarily--er--what are the things?--tssh!--the creatures that
flutter----
BERTRAM.
Bats, father.
SIR RANDLE.
[_To_ BERTRAM.] Thank you, my boy.
OTTOLINE.
[_In a rigid attitude._] It's cowardly of me perhaps, but I almost wish
I had told Sir Timothy--a little more----
LADY FILSON.
Cowardly?
OTTOLINE.
So that he might have taken the edge off the announcement I'm going to
make--and spared me----
SIR RANDLE.
The edge----?
LADY FILSON.
_Spared_ you--? [_Staring at_ OTTOLINE.] Ottoline, what on earth----!
OTTOLINE.
[_Relaxing._] Oh, I know I'm behaving as if I were a girl instead of a
woman who has been married--a widow--free--independent--[_to_ SIR
RANDLE] thanks to your liberality, Dad! But, being at home, I seem to
have lost, in a measure, my sense of personal liberty----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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