The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_Deliberately, but losing himself in his subject as he proceeds._] It
shows a vast crowd of men and women, sir, forcing themselves upon
public attention without a shred of modesty, fighting to obtain it as
if they are fighting for bread and meat. It shows how dignity and
reserve have been cast aside as virtues that are antiquated and
outworn, until half the world--the world that should be orderly,
harmonious, beautiful--has become an arena for the exhibition of vulgar
ostentation or almost superhuman egoism--a cockpit resounding with
raucous voices bellowing one against the other!
SIR RANDLE.
[_Closing his eyes._] A terrible picture!
LADY FILSON.
[_Closing her eyes._] Terrible.
PHILIP.
It shows the bishop and the judge playing to the gallery, the
politician adopting the methods of the cheap-jack, the duchess vying
with the puffing draper; it shows how even true genius submits itself
to conditions that are accepted and excused as "modern," and is found
elbowing and pushing in the hurly-burly. It shows how the ordinary
decencies of life are sacrificed to the paragraphist, the interviewer,
and the ghoul with the camera; how the home is stripped of its
sanctity, blessed charity made a vehicle for display, the very
grave-yard transformed into a parade ground; while the outsider looks
on with a sinking of the vitals because the drumstick is beyond his
reach and the bom-bom-bom is not for him! It shows----! [_Checking
himself and leaving the arm-chair with a short laugh._] Oh, well,
that's the setting of my story, Sir Randle! I won't inflict the details
upon you.
SIR RANDLE.
Er--h'm--[_expansively_] an excellent theme, Mr. Mackworth; a most
promising theme! [_To_ LADY FILSON.] Eh, Winifred?
LADY FILSON.
[_Politely._] Excellent; quite, quite excellent!
PHILIP.
[_Bowing to_ LADY FILSON _and going to_ OTTOLINE.] Thank you.
OTTOLINE.
[_To_ PHILIP, _glowingly_.] Splendid! [_Laying her hand upon his arm._]
You have purged your disgrace. [_Softly._] You may come and see me
to-morrow.
PHILIP.
[_To_ OTTOLINE.] Ha, ha----!
SIR RANDLE.
[_In response to a final bow from_ PHILIP.] Good-bye.
LADY FILSON.
_Good_-bye.
[OTTOLINE _opens the glazed door and_ PHILIP _follows
her into the hall. Immediately the door is shut_, LADY
FILSON _hurries to_ SIR RANDLE.
SIR RANDLE.
[_In high spirits._] Winnie----!
LADY FILSON.
_That_ will never be a popular success, Randle!
SIR RANDLE.
Never. An offensive book----!
LADY FILSON.
Ho, ho, ho, ho----!
SIR RANDLE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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