The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_Leaving him._] Oh, I've no patience with you! [_Spluttering._] Upon
my word, your hatred of publicity is--is--is--is morbid. It's worse
than morbid--it's Victorian. [_Sitting in the chair by the small
table._] There! I can't say anything severer.
PHILIP.
[_Advancing._] Yes, but wait a moment, Robbie. Who says I have a hatred
of publicity? _I_ haven't said anything so absurd. Don't I write for
the public?
ROOPE.
Exactly!
PHILIP.
[_Standing near_ ROOPE.] I have no dislike for publicity--for fame. By
George, sir, I covet it, if I can win it honestly and decently!
ROOPE.
[_Shrugging his shoulders._] Ah----!
PHILIP.
And I humble myself before the men and women of my craft--and they are
many--who succeed in winning it in that fashion, or who are content to
remain obscure. But for the rest--the hustlers of the pen, the seekers
after mere blatant applause, the pickers-up of cheap popularity--I've a
profound contempt for them and their methods.
ROOPE.
You can't deny the ability of some of 'em.
PHILIP.
Deny it! Of course I don't deny it. But no amount of ability, of genius
if you will, absolves the follower of any art from the obligation of
conducting himself as a modest gentleman----
ROOPE.
Ah, there's where you're so hopelessly Victorian and out o' date!
PHILIP.
Well, that's my creed; and, whether I've talent or not, I'd rather
snuff out, when my time comes, neglected and a pauper than go back on
it. [_Walking away and pacing the room._] Oh, but I'm not discouraged,
my dear Robbie--not a scrap! I'm not discouraged, though you do regard
me as a dismal failure.
ROOPE.
[_Deprecatingly._] No, no!
PHILIP.
I shall collar the great public yet. You mark me, I shall collar 'em
yet, and without stooping to the tricks and devices you advocate!
[_Returning to_ ROOPE.] Robbie----
ROOPE.
[_Rising._] Hey?
PHILIP.
[_Laying his hands on_ ROOPE_'s shoulders._] If my next book--my autumn
book--isn't a mighty go, I--I'll eat my hat.
ROOPE.
[_Sadly._] Dear excellent friend, perhaps you'll be obliged to, for
nourishment.
PHILIP.
Ha, ha, ha! [_Taking_ ROOPE_'s arm._] Oddly enough--oddly enough, the
story deals with the very subject we've been discussing.
ROOPE.
[_Without enthusiasm._] Indeed?
PHILIP.
Yes. You hit on the title a few minutes ago.
ROOPE.
Really?
PHILIP.
When you were talking of Ottoline and her people. [_Dropping his
voice._] "The Big Drum."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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