The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The Big Drum: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_Rising, with a gesture of disgust._] Ah----!
SIR RANDLE.
[_To_ BERTRAM.] Really! Really, Bertram----!
[_Seeing_ OTTOLINE _rise,_ PHILIP _also rises and comes
to her._
LADY FILSON.
That a son of mine should countenance----!
OTTOLINE.
[_Panting._] Oh, but this is--this is outrageous! [_To_ SIR RANDLE
_and_ LADY FILSON.] Dad--mother--why should we degrade ourselves by
listening any further? [_To_ PHILIP.] Philip----!
PHILIP.
[_Patting her shoulder soothingly._] Tsch, tsch, tsch----!
BERTRAM.
[_To_ LADY FILSON _and_ SIR RANDLE.] My dear mother--my dear
father--you're so impatient!
PHILIP.
[_To_ OTTOLINE.] Tsch, tsch! Go back to the fire and toast your toes
again.
BERTRAM.
I consider I was fully justified, I mean t'say----
[_Falteringly_ OTTOLINE _returns to the fireplace. She
stands there for a few seconds, clutching the
mantel-shelf, and then subsides into the chair before
the fire._ PHILIP _advances to the settee on the right._
PHILIP.
[_To_ DUNNING.] Sorry we have checked your flow of eloquence, Mr.
Dunning, even for a moment. [_Sitting._] I wouldn't miss a syllable of
it. [_Airily._] Do, please, continue.
SIR RANDLE.
[_Looking at his watch._] My dear Philip----!
BERTRAM.
[_To_ DUNNING, _wearily._] Oh, come to the man--what's his name,
Dunning?--Merryweather----!
DUNNING.
[_Turning several pages of his note-book with his wet thumb._]
Merrifield.
BERTRAM.
Merrifield. [_Passing behind_ DUNNING _and half-seating himself on the
further end of the table on the left._] Skip everything in between;
[_sarcastically_] my father and mother are dying for their dinner.
LADY FILSON.
Bertram!
DUNNING.
[_Finding the memorandum he is searching for, and quoting from it._]
Henry Merrifield--entry clerk to Titterton--left Titterton, after a
row, on the fifteenth of the present month----
BERTRAM.
A stroke of luck--Mr. Merrifield--if ever there was one! I mean
t'say----
DUNNING.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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