The Bishop's Apron: A study in the origins of a great familyMaugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
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The Bishop's Apron: A study in the origins of a great family
Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
Clergy -- England -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction
“I wonder whether you can give me no anecdotes, no interesting
side-lights on our father’s character? I am determined to make my
biography as complete as possible.”
“I’ll give you an anecdote by all means,” said Lord Spratte. “You
remember that the old ’un very much objected to potatoes baked in their
skins.”
“A very pardonable and interesting idiosyncrasy of genius,” interposed
the biographer.
“Well, one Sunday night when we had people to supper, by some accident
they were brought in. The servant handed the dish to father. Father
looked at him and slowly rose to his feet. ‘Don’t you know, you idiot,’
he bellowed, ‘that I don’t like potatoes baked in their skins?’ He took
them out of the dish, one by one, while the servant stood petrified, and
threw them with all his might at the pictures on the walls. Each picture
had its potato till the dish was empty. Then he sat down again calmly
and began to eat his supper.”
“I shall certainly put down nothing in my biography which tends to cast
ridicule or odium on the memory of a great man,” said Canon Spratte,
frigidly. “My motto is: _De mortuis nil nisi bonum_.”
On this principle the _Life and Letters_ was written. To testify to
filial admiration there were in St. Gregory’s Vicarage no less than
three portraits of the first Earl Spratte, but the most characteristic
was a copy of that which the Chancellor himself, with due regard to his
fame and importance, had bequeathed to the National Portrait Gallery. It
showed the great man seated, his hands grasping the arms of his chair
with the savage vigour that was customary with him. They were strong,
large hands, and the tendons stood out from the brutal force wherewith
he held them. He looked the spectator full in the face, sitting very
squarely, bent forward in the despotic attitude which all who had
appeared before him knew so well. He wore the full-bottomed wig of his
office and the gorgeous robes, edged with gold. His head was thrust out
and he stared from under his shaggy brows with an expression of ruthless
violence; his strong features were set in a villainous scowl; his hard,
cruel mouth was clenched as though he were determined that nothing
should affect his will. And the idea which the fine portrait gave, was
borne out by the memoirs of the time.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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